Flex Your Muse’s Muscles

Writer Zen Garden Posted on by

This is a fun exercise to do, if your muse has been slobing around and not giving you the inspiration or drive you need. It makes you keep your mind focused as you write, and still allows you to deviate as much as you desire.

Your task is;
Write 200 words, and
Avoid the letter E
Share!

The letter E is the most used letter in the English alphabet, but there are plenty of words that don’t use it. Don’t cheat by using abbreviations, like Mr or Mrs, but you can use a thesaurus to see if you can get the word with an e-less spelling. I suggest you use the ‘search’ tool on your word processor before you share – you might be surprised at how many of the buggers slip in!

This is my example of a lipogram;

A dog wags its tail and you know that it’s happy. It’s not difficult to twig, a fact most of us know from birth. It is much thorny-a-thing to distinguish joy, or lack of it, in a human. What gain might follow, if our coccyx could again flag our glad moods or lash our irritations? A swift look down would grant us a hint of our companion’s thoughts: a lazy flick for dismissal; a swish of satisfaction; a low immobility of gloom –all told in a winding standard at our backs. With a tail, confusion and falling-outs would diminish though not vanish wholly. How could it, as our traits as a group is so pugnacious? A trick of a god or an additional trial for us to fail, its crisis too ambiguous and abnormal for our logic to fathom. Though without tails, humans still boast windows to our inmost thoughts – our brows may drop in angst or lift in shock; our lips may twitch and grin with laughing; our hands may play and twist with worry, and additional aids also. I am thankful for that, don’t think I’m not, but still I fancy a lissom proclamation to flourish out at my back.

Now, if you think that was hard, Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a whole novel (over 50,000 words!) without touching the E key in February, 1939. It is approaching its 70th birthday, so I thought it should be honoured with our toasting it. If you fancy taking a look at the novel in question, it can be found here.

Wiley Wednesday for January 21, 2009

Writer Zen Garden Posted on by

I want to share a Zen koan with you, but I think first it needs a little introduction.

A koan is a teaching fable. They don’t always make immediate sense to Western ears, (and may not to Japanese ones either, I don’t know), but that’s the point. They’re meant to make the student (and in this sense, we are all students) ponder them. Deceptively simple, like Haiku, they are powerful reminders of a way to live that is in tune with ourselves and the Tao.

I was given this koan by the Universe in what can only be described as an episode where the Universe was showing off its sense of humor. (And those of you who think the Universe HAS no sense of humor have never really studied a platypus.) (Of course, some say the platypus is proof that God smokes pot, but I digress.) Long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away, I was an idiot. A cute idiot, but an idiot nonetheless. Like many cute idiots, I found a ‘man.’ This man was charming, smart, and just-so-slightly dangerous. You know, the kind of man that if I had a big brother, my big brother would have kicked his ass and buried the body before my next date. But I didn’t have a big brother, so I went out with this jerk. I mean, he even had a special made-up name, which at the time I thought was edgy and cool.

Yes, I know. Didn’t I say I was an idiot? Pay attention!

So I go out with this guy, and of course he treats me like an idiot. (Fitting, wouldn’t you say?) It took me mumbleSIXmumble months to figure out this jerk was no good, and I dumped him. However, he had my favorite radio at his house. So instead of buy a new radio, which on my income at the time really was not doable, I went over to his house to get it, with my new boyfriend in tow.

I rang the well. “Ding dong!” (Remember that alliteration.) I was met at the front door by a fat guy and a skinny guy. (Don’t some jokes begin this way?) Both guys were completely.stark.raving.naked.

You read right.

Naked.

My current boyfriend turned beet red, and did I mention he’s a martial arts teacher? The storm clouds were brewing, my friend, and the forecast did not look promising. All this for a radio?

Ever onward, I went into the house and asked after my ex. He was in the bedroom, I was told, with his current girlfriend. She had a Playboy bunny name, and you could feel the heat from my current boyfriend’s fury. I asked to use the bathroom. As I walked by, the door to my ex’s bedroom as open, and they were engaged in, well, things that are better done with the door closed.

Particularly with a fat naked guy and a skinny naked guy in the next room, call me crazy.

So I retreated into the bathroom and sat there, trying to figure out whether I should just stand in the living room and shout for my radio, leave, or wait it out. And then I saw it.

There, on the window sill, an innocuous little book, entitled, Zen Koans.

Take it from me. When in this situation, beware of Trojans bearing gifts. Or something.

I picked up the book and flipped to a page at random. And here, in all its glory and magnificence, is what the Universe said to me:

“Chau-Chu fell down in the snow, and yelled, “Help me up! Help me up!” A Zen monk came and laid down beside him.

“Chau-Chu got up and went away.”

Enjoy!

My Secret LIfe as an Author

Writer Zen Garden Posted on by

My Secret Life as an Author

Hello, my name is Stacey Harlowe. That’s me, in the white SUV idling behind you in the long line of cars waiting to drop off kids at Emerson Elementary this morning. I’m just another soccer mom stationed in suburbia U.S.A. I’m a touch overweight (who isn’t?) and wear the standard uniform issued to all women with children; Capri pants and a polo shirt. I blend in nicely with the rest of you if I do say so myself.

But that is where the similarity ends. I have a secret identity, a disguise that I put on once the children have left for the day. I am a writer of erotic fiction. That’s right, the bodice ripping historical romances that you see on the shelf at the supermarket. I write for ‘Betsy’s Boudoir’, a successful publishing company that specializes in erotica for women. And I make a pretty good living at it.

The world at large believes that I spend my days at my home computer, processing insurance claims. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. I am busy putting my innocent heroines into dangerous situations that will ultimately lead them to love and plenty of hot sex with the man of their dreams. Oh, yes, and a happily ever after ending, can’t forget that part.

The sexual tension is always thick, the word choices explicit and the plot points often laughable, but when my books hit the shelves at Barnes and Noble that doesn’t seem to matter. They sell like hotcakes.

My disguise is necessary to keep my ‘normal’ life secure. I am positive that my services as Sunday School teacher for the three year olds would no longer be needed if my real employment were known. And do you think I’d be up for election to the PTA presidency for the fourth time in a row if the word got out where my paycheck comes from? I think not.

I can just imagine the look of surprise and horror that would come over your face if your neighbor, the minister, broke the news that Stacey Harlowe from down the block writes ‘pornography’.

“But my children play with her kids,” you stammer. “They’ve been to her house for birthday parties and Girl Scout meetings! She just seems so…normal.”

Well, here’s the deal—I AM normal. I’m just like you in every way except for my job description. So before you make any moral judgments about me, answer this question truthfully. Have you ever read a romance novel? Odds are good that you have and it might even have been one of mine. Someone buys them…and it’s probably you.

Wiley Wednesday: To Outline or Not To Outline

Writer Zen Garden Posted on by

A lot of people, generally nonwriters or new writers, tell me that to write a novel, one needs an outline. To which I say, Hogwash.

That’s right. Hogwash!

One needs an outline as much as one needs a pencil – which is to say, there’s more than one way to write something down.

Take a look at my story, The Night is a Harsh Mistress. I started this without any kind of cohesive plan, just an idea of a flavor. I wanted to write something noir, which is to say like a 1940’s detective novel, but with a female lead. Most such novels have a main character who is a loner and who smokes, and I felt that in today’s climate, smoking without compunction would be a little unrealistic, so it would be someone trying to quit.

Voila.

That was really it.

So, when I started, I wrote about her in the pursuit of one of her cases. Classical storytelling tells us that we need to show our protagonist succeeding at their objective, then put in a position where they cannot possibly win, then they surmount the odds and win. So the first chapter is her succeeding at her work. Then it gets weird.

I added Viktor not, as many of my readers have assumed, as a love interest, but as a foil. He’s someone who would usually be a villain, but in this context I wanted him to be more of someone who helped Rachel to find herself in the midst of all the activity of her life.

How do I keep the strands straight? A couple ways. For one, I reread periodically, so I can keep the flavor of the story in my head. This is more critical when I’m writing a serial like Rachel, since I’m only writing a chapter every two weeks. Additionally, I keep a notes section at the end, called “Endnotes,” where I track ideas for action I want to see happen or things I don’t want to forget. I also put questions here, like “Who is the man in the first chapter?” That way, as I’m writing, I can incorporate those things into the story.

I find that if I write an outline, in order, from start to finish, it sucks the fun out of the story for me. That’s not to say that outlining is bad or doesn’t work for others, just that it doesn’t work for me. If you find you’re that way too, it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong – it just means you’re not left-brain sequential in your approach to your storytelling. Or, it may mean that you use an outline for some projects and not for others.

Steven King, in his book On Writing, talks about his method of working (and he doesn’t use an outline either). He starts a story and doesn’t stop until he’s finished. He suggests that you find a room, hide away in it, (the fact that the room has a door, even if it’s the bathroom or a laundry room, is of the utmost importance), and write on a regular basis. He suggests not starting a new project until your current one is finished, because he finds that it dilutes his focus. While I don’t work that way – I usually have multiple projects going at any one time – I like his idea of having a regular writing time where you shut yourself away from distractions and work until you’re finished. That’s advice more of us could use.

So instead of worrying about your outline next time you sit down to write something, just try telling a story and see where it leads you. Like me, you might find this method is a lot more fun. And, in this business, what’s fun is what works.

Fleeting Moments

Writer Zen Garden Posted on by

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope
the New Year is full of wonderful
adventures, health and happiness.

Your Spirit engorges me
until there is nothing but

You

Only…
the sense of the
Divine

All earthly things fade
away

Your light almost
blinding

Painful to look upon

The fine line I walk
between sinner and
saint obscured

Heavenly awareness
pervading my
soul.

~

Love,


‘On Writing—A Memoir of the Craft’

Writer Zen Garden Posted on by

Review of Stephen King’s ‘On Writing—A Memoir of the Craft’

I found a copy of Stephen King’s writing guide, ‘On Writing–A Memoir of the Craft’ on my Artist’s Date to Barnes and Noble last week. After reading the foreword I was hooked. His style of writing is disarming, an every man’s voice. He states that he worked to keep this volume short because he figured that “the shorter the book, the less the bullshit” and he has kept his word. Each section of this book deals specifically with the craft of writing; the language, the storytelling and the process involved in creating with words. No extras, no fluff, no ‘bullshit’ are found here.

The section that is most memorable to me deals with plot, or rather, the lack thereof. Many authors plot their stories out methodically on cards or in a notebook. Mr. King states that he doesn’t follow this method and gives two reasons to explain his break with literary conventions. One, the act of living is ‘plot less’, therefore; writing about life should be as well if there is any truth to be found in it. And two, plot takes away any spontaneity involved in the creation of your story. The end result seems artificial and labored.

He believes that stories make themselves and authors just transcribe them. “Plot is, I think, the good writer’s last resort and the dullard’s first choice.” Mr. King also states, “Story is honorable and trustworthy; plot is shifty and best kept under house arrest.”

Mr. King prefers to begin with a situation, next he adds characters, drawing them as accurately as possible. Then he narrates, letting the story tell itself and the characters do things in their own way. The outcome is sometimes close to what he imagined, but often he admits it becomes a surprise to even him. Knowing the ending isn’t necessary to begin writing, it will come naturally as part of the process of storytelling. And no story will ever be finished if it isn’t begun. He recommends you stop plotting and just write.

He likens stories to fossils in the ground; they are found, and need to be unearthed as intact as possible. Maybe you have found a seashell of a short story, or a complete tyrannosaurus rex skeleton of a novel. Excavating each of them should include the same steps. Consider the situation, listen to what your characters are saying and doing when confronted with this predicament, then watch what happens. And, oh yes, write it down.

Many of the writing skills I was taught in high school and college classes are not used by the successful authors of today. What a lot of time wasted in the pursuit of dated rules and style. I wish that I had read what Mr. King has to say about writing years ago. This book was well worth the price, full of information and told in an entertaining manner.

Night Games

Writer Zen Garden Posted on by

It was suggested recently, on another web site, that my poetry is a little too romantic for some…I’m OK with that! I’m a romantic, optimistic kind o’ gal. But this comment did have me wondering what would be suitably unromantic and I like to rise to the challenge, if a challenge was meant. This is my version of non-romantic poetry. 🙂

CAUTION: ADULT CONTENT!

Savage thoughts prowling
calculating eyes watching
stalking her every move
Intent clear–
he the thorn, she the rose
want edging him closer
sharp pictures in his head
her, him, flesh on flesh
dirty words playing over
her legs clinging to his hips
bricks scraping her back
growls punctuating the air
the thorn pricking the rose

Love,

No procrastination here!

Writer Zen Garden Posted on by

Gwen, your blog on procrastination inspired me and shook me out of the doldrums. Sometimes a little kick in the right spot works wonders. Good stuff!

soft lips caressing

seducing with sweet whispers

unfair advantage

whispering voices

rustling sheets, perfect movements

life’s imperfect dance

restless images

fleeting impressions taunting

kaleidoscope view

random memories

reminiscing past actions

titillating ghosts

Capricious musings

playing mischievously

whimsical notions

I love playing with words Haiku style, one thought leads to another, then another and voila!

Love

Planet Procrastination

Writer Zen Garden Posted on by

Most of us aren’t gifted with a lifestyle allowing us to pursue every whim. Most of us have jobs, families, school, and a host of other responsibilities. Most of us have . . . well, lives. But then, we also have this funny whim called writing. Or, for some, it’s a compulsion, maybe even an addiction. Or, if you prefer, rather than addiction, we could refer to it as a medicine – a balm we use to soothe, or shield, or heal ourselves. Unfortunately, as much as it feels like it, you don’t need writing like you need air. And there are often demands from those pesky real lives that take a higher priority. (Usually, heh.) It’s easy for this “hobby” to get shuffled to the back burner when real life demands our utmost attention. But when does handling your life become procrastinating at your passion?

“There are 8,760 hours in a year. Surely you can allocate some of them to
your writing.”
 – Dan Poynter

For me, it’s easier and easier to make excuses not to write the longer I stay away from it. Do any of these sound familiar?

“I don’t feel well.”
“I’m too tired.”
“I have ‘such and such’ to get done first.”
“I’m not in the right headspace.”
“My to-do list is too long.”
“So-and-so is expecting XYZ of me.”
“I don’t feel inspired.”
“It’s not like I have any real deadlines.”
“I’ll get to it later.”
“My writing isn’t going anywhere.”

If so, you are practicing the art of procrastination. And don’t think for a second that I’m not right there with you. I am a procrastinator of epic proportions. So, the question becomes: How do we get around this nasty habit of putting road blocks between us and our creative pursuits?

Answer: By clearing away the excuses and MAKING them a priority.

Not as easy as it sounds, I know. There are PLENTY of things to use to procrastinate. TV. Internet. Work. Books. Social gatherings. Chores. You name it. And ultimately, yes, you can legitimize everything you put before your creative pursuits. After all – they’re creative pursuits – they’re just gravy, right? It’s not like you have to write. No one is going to give you a bad grade, or charge you interest if you don’t. No one but . . . well, you, that is. In my observation, many of us writers have a tendency to punish ourselves for not letting our inner writer out to play, to varying degrees. And beating ourselves up just fuels the procrastination.

So, some simple steps to kick that procrastinator in the rear and get up to the plate (or keyboard) again. Try one, try them all, or . . . well, do what you like. But please take this to heart – the most important person counting on you is you. If it makes you happy to write, if it brings you joy, a sense of wellness, peace, vitality – whatever the reason you love it – give yourself permission to make it a PRIORITY in your life. It’s important to YOU. That’s enough.

1. Make the time. Write it on your calendar, put it in your Palm Pilot, notify your friends and family. You have an APPOINTMENT with your WIP. At a time when you’re not feeling frantic and over-worked, think about how much time you can realistically cut out of your life for writing. Then do it. If it’s an hour a day, four hours on the weekend, whatever. Just make sure you set that block of time aside and that you use it. No excuses. No interruptions. Life will be waiting for you when you’re done. I promise.

2. Eliminate distractions. Set the book aside. Hand the kids over to parental unit #2. Turn the TV off. Unplug the internet. Leave your phone in the other room. Shut the office door. Simply don’t give yourself any excuse to dilly-dally, put-off, or avoid your appointment.

3. Even if you don’t feel like it, do it. If you’ve set aside an hour to write and you spend that hour staring at a blank screen, so be it. You’re not procrastinating anymore. That’s a start. The words will come. In fact, they might not be what you expected at all. That’s okay too . . .

4. Let go of your expectations and judgements. Don’t ever let yourself think your writing time is a waste of time, or that you could be getting XYZ done. Remember, this is important to you. The very first step to writing is ‘applying the seat of the pants to the seat of the chair’ (Mary Heaton Vorse). What you write doesn’t matter. That you are making writing a priority in your life and setting time aside to do it is the main focus here.

So . . . there you go – a simple list of steps that I’ve put to use time and again, and often need to remind myself of. I hope you can take advantage of them too.

Review of ‘Dark Desires after Dusk’

Writer Zen Garden Posted on by

I recently finished Kresley Cole’s novel, ‘Dark Desires after Dusk’. It is one of her ‘Immortals after Dark’ series. I found it a different take on the often cliched paranormal romance novels that are so popular at the moment.

In the tradition of all good romance novels, Ms. Cole offers us a young, beautiful heroine, Holly Ashwin. The author ups the ante though by giving our young lady an unusual quirk, Obsessive Compulsive Disease. We find her constantly counting everything around her and arranging them into groups of three. She also finds herself helpless when it comes to leaving a room unorganized. As part of the story, she and the hero stay in a string of hotel rooms and she is compelled to rearrange the furniture in each and every one of them; placing lamps in the exact center of the bedside tables and aligning the phone, and its cord perfectly against the wall before she can rest. The author manages to make Holly’s faults endearing, not poking fun at her or making her into a caricature.

Our hero fares just as well in Ms. Cole’s hands. He is everything a girl could want; a bad boy with a good heart. Cadeon is a brutally handsome demon, a mercenary with a guilty past. He holds himself responsible for the loss of his brother’s throne, the one thing he cannot forgive himself for. Until fate sends him a chance at redemption, in the form of our heroine. He has fallen in love with Holly from afar, watching her, wanting her, yet aware that it is forbidden for a demon to marry a mortal. Cadeon’s current assignment is to deliver Holly to a dark wizard in exchange for a magical sword, the only thing that can help him regain his brother’s kingdom. Torn between love, lust and duty, he struggles with his conscience. He jealously protects her as they travel towards the wizard’s fortress, all the while wondering if he’ll be able to give her up, even for the sake of his brother and their tortured subjects.

The universe the author has built around these characters is well drawn and detailed. She manages to weave witches, vampires, werewolves and more legendary creatures into her stories, yet keep them believeable, even while they coexist with humans in our current timeline. Many of the characters from her other books show up in this book. It’s good to see them again and renew old friendships.

Overall, this was a quick and enjoyable read. I found it difficult to put down, even giving up sleep to see what happened next. I can’t wait to get the next book in the series!