X Is For… Xennials!

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Contributed by Laura Rios.

I love Xennials. In case you’re not familiar with the term, Xennials describes the “micro-generation” of people whose birth years are between the late 1970s and the early 1980’s.  Essentially, this group of people are on the cusp of Gen X and Gen Y. They’re the younger Gen X’ers but they are definitely not millennials.

What makes a Xennial so special? Xennials are the first people to grow up with computers and have access to the internet, giving them a major edge with technology. They experienced the rise of the internet as they grew up; they weren’t simply born into the current world of online shopping, social media, and VPNs. Xennials were the last group of young people to get through high school without Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. Most of them didn’t have a cell phone until they became adults.

In addition, Xennials entered the workforce while it was still dominated by hard-working baby boomers. While these “youngsters” had a clear advantage with technology, their supervisors and mentors modeled a strong work ethic, common sense, and a lot of on-the-job know-how. Xennials sucked all this up like sponges. They are often savvy, confident, and determined risk takers.

These qualities can make Xennials a force to be reckoned with, for better or for worse. They are uniquely positioned to be movers and shakers. They’re often in the limelight and can become brilliantly popular or dangerously notorious. More than 20% of the current US congress fall into this microgeneration. Late basketball superstar Kobe Bryant was a Xennial. Dictator Kim Jong-un is also a Xennial. Other well-known Gen X/Gen Y hybrids include: songwriter/singer/musician John Legend, the late rapper Tupac Shakur, Kim Kardashian, Tony Romo, Paris Hilton, Macaulay Culkin, both Serena and Venus Williams, pop star Pink, Tiffany Haddish, novelist Colleen Hoover, and Sarah London, CEO of the Fortune 500 healthcare giant Centene Corporation. Xennials, all.

As an aging “boomer”, I find Xennials fascinating. There’s a certain understanding between us, a special symbiotic relationship, between their generation and mine. I’d keep my eyes on Xennials, if I were you.

W Is For… Win!

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Contributed by Tina Holland.

Are you celebrating your wins?  If not, you need to.  In times of renewal, especially when we are forming positive habits we need to celebrate winning.

It doesn’t have to be something elaborate, it just needs to be something that motivates you.

Some wins I have in a week:

Testing my Blood Sugar Daily, I’m a Type Two diabetic so it’s important that I know where to sit at the beginning of each day.   Writing down the number is sort of its own reward along with the checkmark.

Writing 1K a week.  I get a sticker if I reach this.

These are the two main goals that I track and reward myself for.   I’ve started thinking about celebrating the bigger things these goals get me:  A healthier handle on my Blood Sugar and Finishing a project.

Usually, when I complete a book, I celebrate with a dinner out with my husband or something similar.  Not sure what I’ll do when I finally get my health in order.  Maybe a trip, but I guarantee I will post both events (and have) on my social media platforms.   There’s something great about announcing an achievement and having your virtual friends, family, and fans rally around you.

So how will you celebrate your next WIN?

V Is For… Values

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It’s been a challenging week for me, and for a lot of people with whom I talk. As I was thinking up what to write for today, I decided to look up Creative Commons images for “funny values.”

This came up.

Talk about distracting. “Yum, milkshake!” “Wait, is that an avocado?” “Who ARE those people?”

As my friend Alexandra put it, don’t beat yourself up for not doing something. We’re doing the A to Z Challenge to have fun and create things for our followers. And she’s right.

As I continued my research for funny pictures about “values,” (as in, personal values, core values, etc.), I saw this one.

What struck me is that each of the people in this picture seem at home in their body. Even the man glaring at the cooking pot is focused on what he’s doing, which is helping to cook (I hope, and that it’s not that he’s the “boss” and about to berate the man stirring the pot).

This speaks to me because I am learning to be in my body and respect my body’s need for fuel (i.e. food but also sleep and exercise). But let’s keep researching.

 

Um…

Well okay then.

What have we learned?

  1. Internet searches aren’t always linear.
  2. It’s okay to mess up on this journey we’re on. Progress is more important than perfection.
  3. Some lessons we keep returning to.
  4. Food is more fun with friends.
  5. Keep your taser and your personal appliances in separate drawers.
  6. You might need to re-evaluate your life choices if you feel it necessary to keep a taser in your bedroom.
  7. Tasers come in pink?
  8. Avocados apparently go in milkshakes.
  9. I have plenty of time.
  10. Don’t rush. Sometimes, the journey IS the destination.

 

Stay curious, my friends.

Cheers.

U Is For… Unbelievable!

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Mary Kay Ash, the founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics, used to say, when someone asks you how you are, you look ’em in the eye and you say, “Great!”

The idea being, that when you had that energy, it attracts people to you. It presents the image that you are cheerful, motivated, and have things going on.

I was at a training with a Mary Kay Director whom I’m embarrassed to say I’ve forgotten her name. But what she said stuck with me.

“Sometimes, we cannot honestly say, ‘great,’ because of things going on in our lives. So when that happens, I want you to look them in the eye, and say, ‘Unbelievable!'”

I thought, well, that’s kind of silly.

About a week later, I was at the office and I was having, well, an “unbelievable” day. You know the kind, where nothing goes right, everyone is cranky, and your boss is being a so-and-so. (Boss, if you’re reading this, I’m not talking about you.) And it happened. A client asked me, “How are you?”

I took a beat and said, “Unbelievable!” and looked ’em right in the eye.

Pause.

We both burst out laughing at the same moment.

And you know what? I felt better. They felt better. And damned if it didn’t make my DAY better.

Huh.

Unbelievable!

T Is For… Try!

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I know, I know. Yoda (not Grogu, pictured above), said “Do, or do not. There is no try.”

With all respect to the Jedi Master, I call bullshit.

Sometimes, all we can DO is TRY.

Sometimes, trying is as brave as doing.

And sometimes, trying IS doing.

If there’s a thing you want to do, and your mind is stuck and your emotions are high, and your inner monologue is like Cruella D’Ville only meaner, I suggest that instead of “doing,” we try.

TRY writing for 5 minutes.

TRY sketching something.

TRY getting out of the chair and walking around the house.

TRY giving it a shot.

TRY calling back the prospect.

TRY.

Our culture, and late-stage capitalism, are obsessed with the doing. “Just do it.” Yes, I know I’ve quoted that slogan before, and yes, I know that it works. Sometimes.

I’m not talking about sometimes.

I’m talking about those times when we don’t even have the sometimes in our brain, and we’ve forgotten the sometimes we’ve succeeded, we’ve forgotten how to do, we’ve forgotten who we are and that we have skills and experience.

I’m talking about the times when we feel small, and stuck, and blank, but yearn with desire to feel those times when we have been motivated, and competent, and productive.

It’s in the interstices of those times that I propose “try” belongs.

Sometimes, try can get you from that in between place into the doing place.

Still don’t believe me?

This blog series, right here, the A to Z for 2023 on Writer Zen Garden, is exactly that: we tried it, and we did it.

Try.

Please.

Just try.

S Is For… Surprises!

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Contributed by Laura E. Rios.

As surely as winter follows fall, spring arrives at the end of winter. This repeating cycle comes every year. Most of us happily anticipate the changes that spring brings along, like nature’s beauty, longer days, and warmer weather. There are undesirable situations that we know are coming too, such as the annual tornado season, the IRS income tax deadline, and so on.

Obviously, something as inevitable as spring can also bring surprises. Some surprises are pleasant ones. One year we had a volunteer giant sunflower sprout in the back yard. An errant sunflower seed from the bird feeder brought us the most amazing six-foot-tall beauty, totally free! It was so fun to watch it grow. I felt like Mother Nature had presented me with a wonderful and unexpected gift.

Another spring, I bought a new hanging plant and brought it home and hung it on the front porch. Then, a pair of mourning doves surprised me by building their nest in it. So, I sacrificed the impatiens plant and instead, I spent the spring watching a pair of doves raise their family. That was an unpleasant surprise that ended up being a happy one.

This spring we’ve been surprised by hailstorms, increasing gas prices, and a dental emergency, and it’s only April. But, if not for those things, it would most certainly be something else, because as Gilda Radners’s Roseanne Rosannadanna used to say, “It’s always something”.

Daily life really does fling something new at us all the time, like bird droppings on your freshly cleaned windshield. Charles R. Swindoll said “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you deal with it.” He would have been good friends with Roseanne Rosannadanna. They shared a similar attitude about dealing with surprises.

Ultimately, it’s healthiest to embrace the surprises that come our way, whether they are pleasant or unpleasant. We might as well expect good things as well as bad, since they’re both part of life. They can come any time of the year, so we can always be on the lookout for them. Keeping a positive mental attitude and remaining flexible are good strategies for dealing with whatever this spring throws at you. Surprise!

 

The Image accompanying this item is royalty-free from Pixabay.

R is for… Romantic Comedies!

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Contributed by Laura F.

Who doesn’t love a good romantic comedy?  Nobody with whom I would care to associate, certainly.  :>).  Hating good romantic comedies, from my perspective, would be like hating kittens or boy bands: the sign of a tragically soured outlook on life.

Of course, the key word is “good.”  Any team of idiots with multi-million dollar funding by a major studio can toss a film together, call it a romantic comedy, and unleash it on an unsuspecting public.  I have learned from bitter experience that although so-called romantic comedies abound, very few of them are either romantic or comic.

The reason for this sorry state of things, I believe, is the current terror of being connected with anything that anyone anywhere might label “s-e-n-t-i-m-e-n-t-a-l,” a word so feared and despised nowadays that I feel compelled to spell it rather than say it out loud.  Unfortunately, separating romantic love (supposedly the basis of romantic comedies) from anything that might strike anyone as “s-e-n-t-i-m-e-n-t-a-l” puts filmmakers in a bit of a quandary.  We all know that the couple who are destined to be together have to wait until the end of the film to actually get together.  If they were joined at the hip from the beginning, where would be the suspense?

With typical Hollywood genius, filmmakers are prone to solve this problem by having the destined couple HATE each other right up until that kiss (or equivalent) at the end.  Do you think I exaggerate?  I invite you to consider Ticket to Paradise, a movie I forced my poor family to watch last Christmas.  It had George Clooney!  It had Julia Roberts!  They played a divorced couple who unite in order to prevent what they believe will be a disastrous marriage for their daughter.  All this and the background of a tropical – well, paradise!  What could go wrong?

What could, and did, go wrong is that the script was far too convincing in showing the Clooney and Roberts characters as genuinely estranged from each other, genuinely angry at, and contemptuous of, each other.  Their sniping and sarcasm and quarrels were truly nasty.  Sorry, Hollywood, after witnessing scene after scene of two people who show every sign of deeply disliking each other, even the most rosily optimistic audience member will not believe in the completely last-minute freeze frame that is supposed to signal their reconciliation.

So much for the romance.  So, also, for the comedy.  Again, accept my apologies, Hollywood, but the current popularity of so-called “insult comedy” does not mean that every insult is automatically comic, let alone clever, let alone witty.  It is possible for a put-down to be funny, but it is a huge mistake to assume that every put-down is funny just because it is a put-down.

Does this mean that the art of the romantic comedy is completely dead?  No.  One charming example of the genre is Love Hard, a film whose title comes from the fact that the heroine’s favorite Christmas movie is Die Hard while the hero’s favorite Christmas movie is Love, Actually.  I won’t pretend that the film is perfect; its plot relies heavily on the heroine’s obtuseness in pursuing an outdoorsy hunk instead of recognizing what the audience sees instantly: that she and the bespectacled hero are made for each other.  If you watch this movie (and I hope you will), you will roll your eyes over her slowness.  The point remains, however, that the two of them are made for each other; their respect and affection for each other shine through their every scene together.  As a result, when the two finally come together, I felt like cheering.

Romantic?  Comic?  Yes, Love Hard proves a film can be both those things.  So, Hollywood, can we have more true romantic comedies, please?

Q Is For… Quit!

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Contributed by Tina Holland.

QUIT – I know that doesn’t sound like a very positive word in month full of posts about Inspiration and Renewal.   But it is an important step.

I’ve been reading a lot of books about time management and watching blogs on authors who are Resetting and Quitting.  Well, not the writing part, but everything else.  Two of my favorites are Sarra Cannon and Becca Syme.

Sarra Cannon is doing a whole Reset on her YouTube Heart Breathings Channel and she speaks frankly about letting things go so she can focus on writing this year.

Becca Syme has a book out called Dear Writer, You Need to Quit.  I haven’t read Becca Syme’s book but I do follow her Quitcast on YouTube.

Both of these women talk about letting stuff go to focus on writing and letting stuff go.  It sounds easier said than done and it is.  It can be difficult to get rid of toxic people, unused things and useless tasks.

Though it is hard, at times it is absolutely necessary for our own sanity and safety.  I will say for me it has always been easier to get rid of Unused things and Toxic People, but tasks – that thing I can validate with a checkmark or give myself a sticker.  I find those the most difficult, because you know, I’m getting stuff done.  But is it adding value?  Is it taking up more time than it should?  Do I love it?  I’ve started to evaluate these things more and more as I age.

Each person must decide for themselves what they should Quit.  But I encourage you to Quit those things that don’t meet the criteria for your well-being and don’t move you towards your goals.

We can’t move forward if we don’t Quit the things that block our path.

P is for… Patience!

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Contributed by Adele Fasick.

The old proverb “Patience is a virtue…” is quoted most often by parents trying to calm the urgent requests of children. The version I used to hear was “Patience is a virtue, possess it if you can. Seldom in a woman, and never in a man.” This sentiment has been around at least since the fifteenth century probably because people still find patience a difficult virtue to practice.

One place where we almost never find patience is in government. Voters usually want results quickly and politicians try to respond. But a few figures in American history have been willing to work patiently for years to achieve their goals. Frances Perkins was one government figure who did just that.

Frances Perkins was born in Boston in 1887 into a prosperous family, but she spent most of her life in New York and Washington D.C. Like many women of her time, she was given a good education but was not expected to use her education in a job or career. Her destiny, as her family saw it, was to marry a prosperous husband and raise children to follow the same path as her mother and aunts. But Frances saw life differently.

After Perkins graduated from college, she became a social worker in Philadelphia and New York, but a dramatic fire in 1911 changed the course of her life. The Triangle Shirtwaist fire, which caused the death of 146 workers, occurred in her New York City neighborhood. The workers died because bosses had locked access to the elevators in the building. This terrible accident opened Perkins’s eyes to the overwhelming unfairness of the problems faced by workers. She realized she could do more through political action than she could through providing care to individuals as a social worker and so she became an activist. She started to work with government agencies in New York City.

Frances was a young woman, just turning 30, when she decided to work in government. She soon discovered that most of the men she worked with were uncomfortable confronting a young, well-dress woman and didn’t know how to behave with her. Should they flirt with her or treat her like one of the boys? What would their wives think? Frances took an unusual approach to help them. She deliberately tried to appear older than she was. She began to wear somewhat dowdy clothes, and to project a motherly image. This was her way of not frightening off her male colleagues and she became famous for looking like someone’s middle-aged wife rather than a politician.

Patience worked for Perkins. When Franklin Roosevelt was elected President in 1932, he asked her to serve as the Secretary of Labor. Choosing a woman for that post raised an uproar. Labor leaders opposed her because she had never been a union member. She was supported by the League of Women Voters and other women’s groups. Her appointment marked the first time a woman had served as member of the president’s cabinet.

Frances Perkins became a major partner in Roosevelt’s introduction of the New Deal. She was responsible for some of its major achievements—including the minimum wage law, unemployment insurance, and Social Security. She even tried to introduce healthcare as a benefit for all workers, but the American Medical Association killed that provision. Nonetheless, Perkins’s patience led to some of the policies that have made life better for millions of Americans over the years. Perhaps that demonstrates that patience is indeed a virtue.

You can read more about Perkins and other memorable women in my blog Teacups and Tyrants.

O Is For… Creating “Opportunities”!

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Contributed by Alexandra Sissulak.

A space, a moment in time, where both mistakes and miracles alike can flourish, frolic, and play together is where opportunities are created. This is where the best things happen. Opportunities for love, success, and happiness, to name a few.

Depending upon whatever mindset is applied, the abundance and availability of opportunities are potentially limitless.

If only we knew where they are??

Maybe we’re stuck because we believe no one will give us a chance.  Being given a chance isn’t the same as having an opportunity. While quite similar, there are a few subtle, yet key differences that separate the two: action, or involvement, engagement, and intention are required for an opportunity; chance will happen whether it is experienced or not. Also, an opportunity doesn’t always appear in the form of a gift, or chance, you might say. Largely opportunity is associated with positive outcomes, with some nuance and a small thing called “perspective” that certainly comes into play. Another element is time, which generally presents the greatest obstacle to overcome for most, if not all of us. Because time, while often coming up short, is the greatest equalizer of all. Opportunities can only be taken as they present themselves, not yesterday or tomorrow.

Lastly, in order for an opportunity to occur, you need to be present.  Staying preset and aware of your surroundings and maintaining a balanced awareness of yourself during any given moment is where opportunity can be found. If you aren’t present when opportunity becomes available, it was never yours to begin with.  To find opportunities with outcomes leading in the direction of your choosing, you need to know where to look.

Where the heck do I do look!?!

Inside yourself.

You look at your values and what matters most to you and who matters most to you; the “when” and “how” will follow.

You need only to direct the ship, point the finger, flip the page, scribble that last thought, and dream your biggest dream.

Now you’re cooking with gas!!

Light that flame, get the engines burning hot and ready to engage. And then point your whole self into whatever direction you love most.

Open the doors to opportunities yourself, in a way that resonates with you and your values.

Ask yourself, “What’s on the other side of opportunity’s door?”, or “If I could create any opportunity, what would it be?”

This is the most important step: Answer the question.

Then, turn the handle, walk in, and repeat.