C is for… Cape May!

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Contributed by Carolyn Malone

We have been through a tumultuous two years, and now it is time for us to venture outwards and walk the land again. To travel, to explore, to wander. To see the world again if you so choose.

For those who want to travel within the United States, consider taking a trip to America’s oldest seaside resort, located at the southernmost tip of New Jersey. Listed on the National Register of Historic Places, Cape May is home to nearly 600 preserved Victorian buildings and has one of the best beaches on the Jersey shore.

Whether you want to frolic in nature and the great outdoors or you prefer hanging out in the city for your vacation, you’ll find the best of both worlds here. Cape May has something to offer for almost everyone: a pristine beach; prime bird watching; fine dining; theater; music and film festivals; shopping; historic tours; and assorted cultural activities celebrating the Victorian era. The only thing Cape May does not have is a rousing nightlife.  For that, you’ll have to venture to nearby Wildwood or Atlantic City.

The city is flat (no hills—yay!) and mostly everything is within walking distance. Once you arrive, you can park your car and not have to drive it again until you’re ready to leave the place. If you do not have a car, no worries. Cape May is also accessible by bus, ferry (from Delaware), and plane (via Atlantic City International Airport).

Besides being a desirable vacation spot for many on the east coast, Cape May has a low crime rate, which is good for the solo female traveler.  Many years ago, when my partner had a stroke, I traveled by myself to Cape May for a much-needed break from caregiving.  During the day, I lolled around on the beach, went to the spa, and shopped. At night, I dined alone in various restaurants and attended plays at the local theaters. When the shows ended around 9:30 pm, or I finished dinner late, I felt perfectly safe walking back to my B&B alone. The streets were well lit and there were enough people milling around so I never felt uncomfortable or afraid. During this stay, I met other solo women travelers who echoed my sentiments about the city: that it was easy to get around and that it was safe.

The world is opening up again. If you love to travel, I wish for you many safe journeys. Stay tuned for my next blog post, near the end of the alphabet, where I discuss solo travel in a city outside the United States.

 

B Is For… Blocked!

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Contributed by Nicole:

I know that I am not a professional writer yet and this might be a radical thought on my part, but I don’t believe in Writer’s Block. Can you be stymied by a story, have your characters be uncooperative, written yourself into a corner? Absolutely. But completely blocked? Yeah, I don’t believe in it.

I like to share some of the strategies that I employ when I have trouble.

Go back to your outline.

If your story is the journey that you are taking your characters through, then your outline is your road map. Have your characters taken shortcut not on the map? Maybe you need to backtrack and get back on the proper highway.

Work on a different story.

Sometimes you just need to get your head into a different space. Concentrate on another character or situation for a bit and then come back to the story that is giving me trouble.

Role Play

Grab your partner, a friend, or a member of your family (anyone that didn’t escape you quick enough) and try trading ideas back and forth.

People watch and play ‘what if?’

I grab a blank composition book and go to a park, restaurant or some other public place and look around.  What if that harried barista is a hacker in their spare time? What if that single dad trying to corral his kids used to be an assassin? What if that guy in the three-piece suit is wearing women’s lingerie on under his other clothes? What if the goth coming out of Hot Topics secretly wants to be a hairdresser? What if the big, bike with tattoos scrolling up his arms is planning a romantic dinner for his lady? ‘What if’ are the words that every writer lives by.

I have never not had one of these strategies shake something loose in my head.

What about you, dear reader? What strategies work for you?

A Is For… Antroduction!

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Humorous picture of cat grinning in a ridiculous manner.

Happy April! You know what April 1st brings?

THE A TO Z CHALLENGE AND CAMP NANO!

It’s also, apparently, letter writing month AND poetry month. And no, that’s not April Fool’s! It is Spring, though, and I’m guessing that’s what’s in the air. Plus, we’ve all been dealing with heavy stuff, right? The war, pandemic, climate crisis…

Well, we can’t fix all that. But we CAN play with some creativity, and for the next month, that’s what I invite you to do, too. We’ve got some great posts in store for you: tips for when you feel blocked, travel, mythology, and even poetry.

Check back each day except Sunday for the Writer Zen Garden A to Z Challenge! And remember to visit other participating blogs – this is a global challenge and there’s so much knowledge and creativity out there, you won’t know what hit you. Perhaps it will inspire YOU to be creative with us, TOO!

Check in below in the comments and let us know where you’re writing from and what you are most excited for this Spring. We’d love to know!

Write on!

Join Us For the Second Annual Spring Low Key Retreat!

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Join us for the 2nd Annual Spring Low Key Retreat, March 11th through March 13th!

Emphasis on the “low key” part – the world is chaotic right now, and we need to take a pause from the bustle to recharge, rest, write, and hold space for each other.
Sound like fun? Link to sign up is here.
Schedule
Friday, March 11, 2022
5:00 PM Pacific, 6:00 PM Mountain, 7:00 PM Central, 8:00 PM Eastern (GMT -8)
Cocktail Party, with Krissy the Amateur Mixologist! 
Krissy will distribute a handcrafted secret recipe for a cocktail, and one for a mocktail. Bottoms up!

Saturday, March 12, 2022
10:00 AM Pacific, 11:00 AM Mountain, 12:00 PM Central, 1:00 PM Eastern (GMT -8)
Writing Prompts with Carolyn and Friends!
Carolyn will have some prompts for us to play with. If you have a favorite writing prompt, bring it! I’ll have the Amazing Story Generator too in case we need some goofiness.
12:00 PM Pacific, 1:00 PM Mountain, 2:00 PM Central, 3:00 PM Eastern (GMT -8)
A Good Yarn Craft Salon and Makerspace
2:30 PM Pacific, 3:30 PM Mountain, 4:30 PM Central, 5:30 PM Eastern (GMT -8)
Coloring Books/Hand Art with Rachel!
Rachel will have some links for free coloring pages, or you can bring your own.
4:00 PM Pacific, 5:00 PM Mountain, 6:00 PM Central, 7:00 PM Eastern (GMT -8)
Shared Dinner Prep and Hang Out with Chef Nicole!
We did this last year and it was a lot of fun, if a little noisy and chaotic. We bring our laptops or tablets into the kitchen and hang out together while making a meal. They say every party ends up in the kitchen, and this one is no exception! 🙂
__________
Sunday, March 13, 2022 – Daylight Savings Time Begins in US
Remember to “Spring Forward” one hour!
10:00 AM Pacific, 11:00 AM Mountain, 12:00 PM Central, 1:00 PM Eastern (GMT ***-7***)
Brunch with the Amazing Nikki!
Similar to dinner on Saturday night, we had a ton of fun last year messing around in our kitchens together for brunch. And if you haven’t had brunch with Nikki yet, you’re missing out!
12:00 PM Pacific, 1:00 PM Mountain, 2:00 PM Central, 3:00 PM Eastern (GMT -7)
Spa Time! Supplies needed: facial mask , cornmeal/honey scrub, salt or sugar scrub, or muscle soak. Links and recipes below schedule (scroll down).
Bingo! Krissy suggested we play a couple rounds of bingo while we let our masks dry. Make sure you wash your muddy paws first!
1:00 PM Pacific, 2:00 PM Mountain, 3:00 PM Central, 4:00 PM Eastern (GMT -7)
Meditation with Rachel!
2:00 PM Pacific, 3:00 PM Mountain, 4:00 PM Central, 5:00 PM Eastern (GMT -7)
Pray/Rain Journaling with Noony!
3:00 PM Pacific, 4:00 PM Mountain, 5:00 PM Central, 6:00 PM Eastern (GMT -7)
Closing Ceremonies
Our opportunity to close out, but also open up to the weeks ahead. Share insights, dream, and wish each other well.
Supplies In General
Krissy will distribute her mocktail and cocktail recipes ahead of time; you will want to have supplies on hand to make whatever beverage suits your fancy for Friday night.
I suggest having a notebook and pen nearby. For prompts especially, you will likely want something with which to write. While you can write with a laptop, writing by hand can garner interesting results. But use what works best for your learning style.
Coloring pages or a coloring book you like. Rachel will distribute some free pages ahead of time, if you don’t have any handy; you’ll need. a printer and paper for that. Pens, crayons, colored pencils, all work for this. Now is the time to break out your fancy art supplies if you have them, the ones you were saving for that “special project.” Trust that now is the time.
We’ve got some breaks built in to the schedule. Please know that you are welcome to eat and drink while on Zoom. This is not a formal event. Take care of your body so that your body can take care of you.
For Pray/Rain journaling you will want to have a journal and pen with which to write, or whatever journaling method works best for your learning style. If comfortable for you, I encourage you to do this exercise by hand.
Supplies For Spa Time!
Masks to Purchase:
Freeman 12 Mask Party Pack
  • Includes: (2) Cucumber Pink Salt Masks, (2) Manuka Honey Masks, (2) Sweet Tea Lemon Masks, (2) Charcoal Black Sugar Masks, (2) Glacier Water Pink Peony Masks, and (2) Dead Sea Minerals Masks
  • Sweet Tea Lemon and Glacier Water removes impurities tones for radiant skin, while Manuka honey tea tree oil cleanser mask instantly deep cleans absorbs oil without over-drying
  • Cucumber pink salt clay mask instantly detoxes clears pores for renewed skin
  • Anti-Stress Dead Sea Minerals instantly clears pores balances for renewed skin
  • Detoxifying Charcoal Black Sugar mud mask instantly detoxes clears pores for renewed skin
Link here. (Affiliate link; commission earned.)
DIY Options:
 
Cornmeal and Honey Scrub:
You can use this on your hands and forearms, or even in the shower.
Ingredients:
Cornmeal
Honey
Directions:
Using a table spoon (regular spoon, not a measuring spoon), put some cornmeal in the center of your palm.
Add enough honey to make a thick paste.
Using a circular motion, run onto your skin and massage.
Rinse with warm water.
You will make a mess. 🙂
Avoid using on the face; it’s generally too abrasive. This is great on your hands, elbows, heals, and the back of your calves where they get tight from walking. If you have a partner, it feels really good on your back.
 
Chocolate and Sugar Scrub:
Ingredients:
High quality cocoa powder. I like Ghirardelli’s right now since I’m on the west coast and they’re based in San Francisco. Any high quality cocoa will do.
Rock sugar. You can find this in your grocer’s baking section.
Olive oil. You can use high quality oil here if that’s all you have, but you can also use the lower quality oil that is sold in large tins (not “extra virgin”). It’s used a lot in cosmetics and can be found in your grocer’s oils section. If you have it, you can also use sweet almond oil or any oil you have for massage.
Directions:
Similar to the cornmeal and honey scrub, you will make a major mess. If you’re not doing this in the shower, do it over the sink and have towels ready – I recommend paper towels to start, as the chocolate makes a nice, brown, mud. 🙂
Using a spoon, tip a little bit of the cocoa (about the size of a quarter) into your palm, and all some sugar.
Drizzle the oil to make a smooth paste.
Rub on your hands and forearms, and really massage the long muscles on the underside of your forearms. Your writing muscles will thank you.
IMPORTANT: if you have pets, especially dogs, do NOT allow them to lick off the mess. Chocolate + pets do not mix. Gives dogs diarrhea. (Ask me how I know this.) (Actually, don’t ask me. ~shudder~)
 
Muscle Soak Recipe from Nicole:
Ingredients:
2 parts Epsom Salt
1 part table salt
1 part baking soda
4 drops of any time mint oil
3 drops chamomile oil
Directions:
Run a hot bath or footbath. Add your muscle soak. Relax.

Mental Health Monday – Resilience Is A State of Mind

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by JaeSage

Good Monday morning to you. Today I want to share a glimpse into how you can find resilience in a world that is not always so easy to take. Although this is not meant to be mental health advice, you can see it as a window into what you can do to learn more about resilience in the face of difficulties.

Two questions I am often asked by clients are:

  1. How do you define resilience?
  2. Can you learn to become more resilient?

Here is a definition in my own words: Resilience is a choice of thought and behavior that allows you to get back on track after something negative happens.  It is about acknowledging your emotions as valid and not denying your feelings. Resilience is about using your inborn and learned strengths to help you recover more quickly.

And here is the definition from Oxford Languages:

noun

  1. 1.

the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.

“the often remarkable resilience of so many British institutions”

  1. 2.

the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity.

“nylon is excellent in wearability and resilience”

You can learn how to be more resilient:

In human terms, resilience is not always about getting back to exactly how you were before that “difficulty” or negative experience.

It isn’t always about “toughness” either. It is about taking in the feelings of the moment and learning new positive thought patterns. It is about relating your difficulties to allowing yourself to feel stronger and be better than before even in the tiniest way.

The most resilient among us are able to allow themselves to feel what they are feeling in the moment. They are able to realize that it is normal to respond emotionally to an external situation that is out of our control.

A couple of questions to ask yourself:

  1. How long does it take me to feel better after something difficult or bad happens?
  2. What would I rather be feeling?
  3. What has worked before to help me feel better and stronger?

Do you try to ignore the feelings or allow them to control your behaviors or do you allow them to flow through you and acknowledge their presence? Feeling sadness or fear are normal reactions to difficulties and they will go away if you practice resilience.

Here are a few suggestions:

  1. We all have strengths of some sort. What are the strengths you have relied on in the past to help you get through a tough time?
  2. Who or what is in your life to help support you when you are in need of support?
  3. Who can you help who has been in a similar situation (sometimes helping others makes us feel stronger)?
  4. What practices can I repeat consistently to help me get centered and grounded?

How about a simple grounding mindfulness exercise that you can do to help yourself feel calmer?

For everyday stress: say you had a terrible morning. You couldn’t find your keys for what felt like forever, the kids and dog are acting up and your boss has texted you three times already this morning. You feel pressured and notably anxious and anger is growing from within. Your chest feels tight and your stomach muscles are clenching. You have to keep going through the day so the pressure continues to grow.  You begin to tell yourself that your life is a mess and you hate your job. You finally lock the house and get the kids in the car and safely strapped in.

What can you do? Before you start the car you can stop and center yourself. Even if the kids are hollering, take a brief moment to feel where in your body the pressure is. Feel your feet on the floor and your bum on the car seat. Feel your hands on the wheel. Look at the tree in your yard and the sky above and really look at it. Look at the color and the way the breeze moves the branches or the clouds. You can take a few breaths and listen to the air coming in and out of your nose or mouth and feel your lungs expanding or contracting.  Sit and breathe a bit. Then notice that you are feeling a bit more calm, more centered. That is the beginning of the growth of resilience within you. Now you can move through your day with a little bit of calm.

Sometimes the difficulties are more acute like a serious illness or accident. When that happens, seek professional mental health help as soon as possible to get you feeling better sooner.

When you need more help, reach out to a professional like a licensed therapist/counselor, or board certified life coach (BCC) to learn more about how to build resilience.

Best 2 books I have read on building a more resilient you (there are many more):  Peace is Every Breath by (the late) Thich Nhat Hahn and  Rising strong: The Reckoning. The Rumble. The Revolution. By Brene¢ Brown.

A reminder before I go: you can use apps like Calm and YouTube videos and others resources that can help you with guided mindfulness meditation.

Best regards on your mental health Monday today.

Yours in Mindfulness,

JaeSage is the nom de plume of a National Certified Counselor with over 10 years’ experience in learning and teaching mindful methods.

 

Mental Health Monday: Stress Reduction, Self-Care and You

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By Guest Contributor, JaeSage

Good Monday to you! Today is a great day to start your self-care New Year’s reset.  The new year is morphing into a new month tomorrow (Tuesday). February is Heart Month so do your heart a favor and love yourself up a little bit.  You deserve it. Today’s post is about finding your calm with stress-reducing self-care.

Here are three stress reducing self-care ideas:

  1. How do you define self-care for stress reduction? Here are some ideas clients have shared with me that they have used that work for them:
    1. Mindfulness meditation
    2. Using a guided meditation app (like Calm) or YouTube video
    3. Swimming
    4. Running or walking a distance until tired out
    5. Cooking my favorite dishes or baking
    6. Sipping herbal tea in a sunny winter window
    7. Watching my children play when they don’t know I’m looking
    8. Streaming cartoons all Saturday morning in my pajamas
    9. Singing loudly while vacuuming my house
    10. The classic— warm bubble bath with aromatherapy essential oils
    11. Hugging—spouse, lover, bestie, tree, pets (I’ve heard all of these)
    12. Making something like a craft or a piece of furniture or some clothes
    13. You name it. What works best for you?
  2. Experiment with methods to be in the moment. Catch yourself in a busy, focused activity and stop and look around when it is safe to do so.  Take your time—what do you see, what can you hear, what does it smell like where you are? Then reach out and touch something or at least feel your feet on the floor or your behind in your seat. Okay, then feel your feels for a few minutes before you get back to the busy. You have just used your five senses to give your brain, body and spirit a moment of respite.  How does it feel?
  3. If something reduces your stress (again, anything that is healthy and works for you) and feels like self-care, then paraphrasing Bill O’Hanlon: If it works well for you then do it again.

Best regards on your mental health Monday today.

Yours in Mindfulness,

JaeSage

JaeSage is the nom de plume of a National Certified Counselor with over 10 years’ experience in learning and teaching mindful methods.

Referenced in this post: Book by Bill O’Hanlon- Do One Thing Different

Fellowship Friday: Lettermo

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February is the Month of Letters!

Every year, there is a festival of postal mail called the Month of Letters. Like NaNoWriMo, whose objective is to write 50,000 words of a novel draft during the month of November, Lettermo is designed around a simple and lovely concept: write and mail an item every day during the month of February. “Write” is relative: I have a penpal who sends elaborate postcards with tinily typed messages that go on for a long ways but that are small enough to be cleverly attached to the back of the card.

To whom do you write?

I have many penpals all over the globe. What’s fun about this hobby is that it’s a tangible reminder that there are real people in the world, and people are basically decent and curious about others. I’ve gotten a postcard made with fabric, where the sender used their sewing machine to attach a piece of fabric to a card. I framed that one. Another pal crocheted a heart and attached it to her postcard – and it came to my post office all the way from Poland! I can only imagine the looks on the letter carriers’ faces.

What do you write?

Personally, I love the Postman’s Knock’s “The Letter Writer’s Complete Resource: A Guide for Writing Letters,” by creator Lindsey Bugbee. She has a terrific template that one can print out and use to draft a letter, so that you know what to say besides, “Hello, how are you?”

Some artists create “mail art,” which is a concept all on its own. If you’re curious what that’s all about, just google mail art – but beware, you may fall down a very deep rabbit hole. You have been warned.

When do you write letters?

Like you, I’m busy with a thousand things during the day. But here’s the thing: I’m sure you’ve heard about “mindfulness,” the idea that we should slow down and pay attention to the moment. There’s a growing emphasis on “slow” living: slow food, slow craft, slowing down… Writing a physical letter, as opposed to dashing off an email or worse, a text, allows us to slow down and concentrate: to whom am I writing? What are they interested in? What do I want to know about them? Where are they from? Paper letters don’t ding, or chirp, or flicker, or do any of a hundred other irritating electronic whizbangs: they’re exactly what they are – a physical object, created just for us by another human being somewhere in the world.

Where do you write?

I write wherever I am – that answer sounds flip, but I really mean it. Pre-pandemic, I’d write in cafes and bus stops, or on the train commuting to work. I’d incorporate drink coasters and napkins and other ephemera that I’d find while I was out and about. Now that the pandemic is our perpetual reality and going out and about is no longer safe, what with people who refuse to wear masks or practice safe socializing, I am using up all the paper supplies I’ve hoarded over the years of being a panpal afficionado. I’m finally using up an airmail pad that I bought, I kid you not, in San Mateo, California.

We moved away from San Mateo when I was ten.

Needless to say I’m nowhere near ten years old anymore. It’s high time I used the silly pad for something other than to store in my drawer, eh?

Why do you write?

This is more esoteric. Why write to strangers I’ve met on the internet or in penpal exchanges? That’s just it, though: they don’t stay strangers. Does every person write back? Do they write back with the same depth and interest that I do? No, but that’s okay. Enough do that I have a lively correspondence, and I no longer dread going to my mailbox. I call it “non-bill mail,” and I really mean that. I am excited now when I see our letter carrier come by, and I even know her name, (it’s Lauren, and she’s very nice).

I write because it connects me to other people and makes the world a less scary place. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that other people are very different and we’ll never tackle big problems like poverty or the climate disaster. But letter by letter, word by word, we create a different world, hand to hand and heart to heart.

How do I get started?

Click on over to the lettermo site and sign up. It’s free. Then, when February starts, write a letter and mail it each day during the month. Write back to everyone who writes to you.

One suggestion is, get yourself a post office box. I prefer to do that so that my physical home address isn’t out on the internet. Not everyone does that, and there’s certainly no requirement of it. I just find it more comfortable to do it that way.

That’s all there is to it: you write a letter and mail it every day during February. You don’t even need to sign up on lettermo! You can write your family, friends – heck, even write to your high school or college reunion list. Write to your politicians. Write to your local newspaper. Write to your favorite magazine. It doesn’t matter what it is, just write it and mail it.

That’s all there is to it!

Writer Wednesday: Obligations

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by Founding Circle member Tina Holland

One of the things I struggle with and maybe most writers do, is meeting obligations.  Case and point I forgot this one.  It’s been in my schedule and on my Kanban board for over a week and yet last night and 9 pm I assumed I had stuff that could wait until tomorrow and I guess it did.  This post was supposed to be up Wednesday January 12th.  I’m not sure if it will be late or posted another day or maybe next week.

This isn’t an uncommon thing for me to MISS something.   I feel bad when I do and I try diligently not to forget, but SCHTUFF happens.  My stuff this week – I had to finish the last of my self edits and get my manuscript off to my new publisher.   I’m formatting a book for one of my local writing  groups so I was worried about that.  I had a meeting with my critique group on Monday and more and more obligations than I have space on my board.

Maybe I’ve overextended myself, but I don’t think so. I almost always meet my obligations to finish things.   The times I don’t, well it’s probably because of timing, like this past week.  Getting another publisher and a new project out in the world is exciting and my head swims with ideas.   Now that I think about it, most of my book deals take place between December and January so I’m always running around doing stuff, if not physically, then virtually.

I think I just need to make a note to check before I go to bed to make sure that I’ve completed my obligations before my head hits the pillow.

Mental Health Monday: Mindfulness, Compassion and MLK day

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by Guest Contributor, JaeSage

Good Monday to you! Today is MLK Day and when we think of mindfulness and Dr. King, how can we be in the here and now to observe the example of empathy, kindness and active compassion for others and ourselves that he lived and taught?

Here are three possibilities:

  • Look around you. Is someone sitting next to you on the bus during your morning commute or in that bleary-eyed Zoom meeting in your respective virtual offices or the person you woke up next to. Really take a look at that person’s face, look.  Look at their eyes, their nose, the way their mouth moves when they talk. Truly see that person, familiar or a complete stranger. Drink in their presence and enjoy being one with humanity sharing this big blue planet floating precariously through space.
  • When you have a break today, instead of charging through a meal or pouring a cup of beverage that you will end up not drinking due to your laser-like focus on the everyday job of survival, STOP, take a bite or a sip and experience the fullness of the experience. Taste, smell, feel, listen, and look at it. Then think about how that food or beverage arrived in your hand. Who planted, nurtured, harvested, processed, and delivered it so you could be there to slow down and notice it? Can you summon up a feeling of gratitude for those who brought this sustenance to you?
  • Make an attempt to show your gratitude to a fellow human this week. Then show yourself some kindness as well. Part of mindfulness is sharing an act of compassion in the moment with all of your five senses.

Best regards on your mental health Monday today.

Yours in Mindfulness,

JaeSage is the nom de plume of a National Certified Counselor with over 10 years’ experience in learning and teaching mindful methods.

Food For Thought

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by guest contributor, Nicole

I love to eat this warm with a dollop of jam. It’s a perfect cool or cold weather treat.
–Nicole

Rice Pudding

Ingredients

1/2 cup (4oz/115g) starchy rice (Aborio, Calrose, Sushi rice)
2 Cans of Coconut Milk
1/8 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 Nutmeg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Honey or Maple Syrup to taste (I use about 1/4 cup)

Directions

Into a medium saucepan over low heat add in all of the above ingredients and allow to come to a gentle simmer.
Cook on low for roughly 35-40 minutes or until the rice is tender and the liquid has thickened but not absorbed fully. Stir occasionally.
Remove from the heat while the rice pudding is still quite ‘saucy’ and allow to sit for 20 minutes. During this time the rice will continue to absorb the liquid leaving you with a rich and creamy rice pudding. Add your sweetener to taste.
Serve warm or cold with a dollop of raspberry jam on top.
Once cold, store in the fridge for up to 4 days.