We were having a discussion today on Romance Divas about fear and success, and it got me thinking. One thing I’ve learned about fear is that conquering it doesn’t mean I don’t feel it. I used to think that being brave meant that I wouldn’t feel fear, I’d somehow achieve this Zen state of serenity where I could do those things that frightened me without feeling any fear or anything scary. Since that never happened, and I felt fear anyway, I never achieved that Zen state.
But what did happen was far more magical: after some experiments in feeling the fear but moving forward despite it, when I did the thing that frightened me, I felt a great surge of serenity. Isn’t that ironic? I had to go through the fear to get the serenity – nothing else worked. I couldn’t avoid it, or not do the thing that made me afraid, or any of a dozen other avoidance tactics. It was only by going through that I got through.