This post is late, late, late! I forgot it was my turn to blog today, fortunately my friend and fellow writer Kathleen Oxley thought to remind me, thanks Kat. In the process of getting this post written and published I have had some interesting experiences. The first being that as I read over the finished article this morning, I noticed Blogger had posted their own notification at the top of the window, that they were having an ‘outage’. Said outage was apparently going to happen about the same time as I was working on my post. Without thought I pressed publish, not having saved it all as a draft. Yes, you guessed it, Blogger ate my post, every darn word.

Now that post had taken a bit of effort on my part as my girls were getting ready for school at the same time as I was writing it. It seems that I am the only person who can find a pair of socks in this place, or know where the mp3 player got put last night, or the only one free to let the rabbit out. Strange how when I want to write, no one is able to fend for themselves. Bless them, they won’t be home for hours yet.

Just as I was getting back into this, my two older girls, came for a brief visit. The post went on hold again, with the save button clicked this time. It is impossible to compete with two pregnant women, who need their mom to discuss all manner of things maternal. Frustration took on a whole new meaning to me this morning.

The day has brightened and I am back to writing this post, not without substantial help though. My friend, fellow writer and Artist’s Way mentor, A.Catherine Noon, Noony, helped me get some serious perspective on my day. I am calmer and now able to think rationally about the events that have lead me to this point in time.

My two eldest girls, pregnant, delightful and chatterboxes when together, have been at their disruptive best. They forget that I am more than their mom, that I am a woman and have things that are important to me; that I am committed to. I explained to them earlier this morning that I had plans for the day and would not be available. The issue for me here, is my need for my own space to be the whole person I am. After having had no personal space or boundaries for a long lot of years, the reforming of boundaries is proving to be difficult and a little painful.

I feel like I am in a battle for my inner freedom and perhaps that is a little melodramatic for some, but I am in the midst of this and it feels very much like a battle to me. I want my offspring to know they are loved, wanted, enjoyed, cared for and part of all the things that go into a loving family. But I am serious about my writing and I need some personal space to develop and grow in this new found passion.

I can see that leaving the nest is not an easy or comfortable thing for these girls of mine, but for them as well as myself it is necessary. I am going to quote Noony here, “Grab them by the leg and as you fling them from the nest, wish them a happy flight!”. Sounds harsh – yeah, it does. Will it work? Who knows, I am hopeful! You don’t have to be a mom, being a woman is sufficient to have relevant views on these matters and I would love to hear from you; read what you think about these or related issues.

8 thoughts on “Wiley Wednesday

  1. Unhinged says:

    Well, I am in total agreement with what Noony said. I think it’s about time, too, from what I’ve read. Sending powah vibes your way, Eaton.

    This comment is powered by 23 kicks.

  2. Dawn says:

    Actually it makes alot of sense. I imagine this is the stage in womens lives where they are definitely fighting for a bit of their own again, and I’m so happy you are!

  3. Um, maybe you just should name me as the progenitor of that quote? At least where your offspring can hear? ~eyes escape hatch~

    But I think you are right. Establishing boundaries, particularly reclaiming ourselves from others’ ideas of us, is painful for all concerned. I applaud you for doing so!

  4. ~Liz~ says:

    I completely understand how it feels to be pulled in different directions, with everyone’s expectations somehow dwarfing who you are. It is easy to become a role instead of a person.

    You are not just a mother, or a wife, or any other label. These things are a part of you, but you are more than merely the sum of those parts.

    You are Byz! And that’s why we love you!


  5. Your safe Noony!! Anyways I will protect you from ‘frightened of flying’ daughters 🙂 Did I tell mention lately that I loves you all? I’m sure I have….your encouragements are so empowering <3:)

  6. I totally know what you mean, Eaton. I absolutely cannot survive without my “me time.”

    It’s important that we take care of ourselves, particularly when it’s so easy for women/wives/mothers to get wrapped up in taking care of others. Kudos to you for taking the necessary steps and best of luck with your family – I’m sure they’ll come around and support you (and if not, we’re always here for you!) *hugs*

  7. Gwenny says:

    Eaton – I think you have raised an amazing family. Being a mother is truly at time the hardest, the most important, and the most under-appreciated of jobs. And I have no doubts you have poured your heart and soul into your family. I think you are more than entitled to now set off on the journey of self-discovery you’re on and to set some boundaries and claim some time and space for yourself.

    More importantly, I know that because your girls were raised by you, they must be very caring and want your happiness too, so I’m positive you will find the right balance. It is scary, both to leave the nest, and to be left. But you should be allowed to pursue some of your own dreams now. You definitely deserve it.

    As for the frustrating day, boy can I relate. Thank you for sharing it and what you learned from it. And don’t worry ~ we all have them, and they do pass. I’m glad you stuck with it!


  8. Evey Brown says:

    Eaton, I love that ‘fling them from the nest’ quote by Nooney! It is amazing that only a mother can do certain tasks, isn’t it? I shudder to think that I did the same to my mom too at times.
    Love the brutal honesty of your post and the tender way you shared it.

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