Tag: Reflections

  • Converted

    Many members of our group have already done the Artist’s Way workshop and the following books with Catherine, but I’m a first-timer.

    Ever have those things that just happen to fall right into your life, right when you need them? I’ll be honest, I resisted this for a while, thinking I didn’t have the time, or even (yeah, ego, I know) that I didn’t need it because it’s supposed to help blocked creativity, and I wasn’t blocked.

    Well.

    Skepticism. Yeah – there’s a section on that in this book. There’s also one on synchronicity. And I’m now a believer.

    I’m on Chapter 3 and I can already see the way I view myself as an artist, and creativity in general changing and morphing. The back cover touts the Artist’s Way as the ‘seminal book on the subject of creativity’ and it’s true. It really is.

    I have been trying to put my finger on what exactly it is, because I think part of the reason I resisted so long was that the actual SCOPE of this book was never adequately described to me. But it cannot be adequately described.

    It’s subtitle: ‘A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity’ doesn’t do it justice. I think the only way to describe it is to say that wherever you are on the road, you can get something from this book. I thought I didn’t need it, but then, when I finally gave in to peer pressure, I found I needed it more than I ever could have imagined. And I truly believe that no matter when I might have picked it up, I would have needed it then too, and taken something different from it.

    From an objective position, Ms. Cameron has an amazingly soothing and engaging voice. Her thoughts are well organized, thoroughly informative and totally applicable. In short, I think everyone should read this. I can’t think of a single person in my life who won’t take something away from it. And I know, just like all my friends told me (yeah, I know . . . I’m a stubborn arse, but you love me anyway), I will do it again and again, and take something new away each time. I’m officially on board now.

    Buy it. Read it. Live it.

    And that’s all I have to say about that.

  • On Being a Hermit

    I’ve written about finding a balance point before – about balancing a normal, healthy life with something as all-consuming as writing is for some. Well, for me. I’ve been to the extreme, isolated and alienated myself, even from the people closest to me, and found it wasn’t the best way to live my life. I love to write, but not enough to sacrifice living, experiencing. When you have great passion for something, I think this is a realistic problem. Look at the mad scientists and artists in history. They all have two things in common (well, three if you count madness – but that’s subjective, isn’t it?): passion, and isolation.

    I don’t think the two necessarily go hand in hand, but there’s a definite connection. Passion can lead to obsession, and obsession can lead to isolation, via means of blotting out everything else. The other extreme would perhaps be the writer or artist or other passionate hobbiest who never ‘gets around’ to creating their masterpiece, or even delving into their passion fully. Maybe because they’re blocked, or maybe because they just have too many other things to do. But I’m not here to talk about extremes. I’m contemplating the happy middle ground.

    When is it okay to shut out the world? When is it necessary? And how do you know when you’re begin to focused on yourself and pouring too much into that passion at the detriment of those around you?

    I don’t pretend to have answers. Quite the contrary, I’m wondering what you all think.

    Personally, I try to juggle a lot of things. (As I’m sure most of us do.) And I often find I reach a maximum capacity for the ‘others’ that take me away from my passion. The artist inside gets antsy, and flexes her pinchers, eventually snapping at anyone and anything that is in between me and my writing shell. Sometimes, I just need crawl inside and close the door behind me. Some of my best work comes from being cloistered in my happy writing place, undisturbed.

    But life goes on outside. I don’t want to miss it.

    How do YOU find a balance?

  • Unanticipated power

    I grew up shy, quiet, tongue-tied and longing for something more, although I could never put what I wanted into words. I was just a girl who winced at having to get up at six thirty a.m. to make it to Home Class on time. Nobody who saw me imagined my larger-than-life thoughts. I was an average looking girl wearing acceptable looking clothes, who dreamed of something more than an idiot boy who wanted to snap the strap of my training bra.

    I lived an everyday girl’s experience. I ate chocolate shakes when my lunch money ran low because they were only seventy-five cents. I ducked my head and tried not to care when girls prettier than I was called me names–brace face, metal mouth, pizza face. I’d accepted from early on that I just wasn’t the type of girl who was going to fit in, although I’m not sure when I first had the thought. I think it became less of a pain the older I got because surely things happened for a reason. Suffering had to have a point; feeling like an uninvited devil’s imp from hell had an end, right?

    The books I read made me feel I wasn’t alone. There was hope. There was an optimistic sort of ending. There were lessons to be learned with the characters I fell in love with–characters who struggled with peer pressure, Multiple Sclerosis, death and parents who were divorced. Those stories written by Judy Blume, Beverly Cleary and Carolyne Keene saved my life. I can’t even properly communicate the power of those stories and the characters who influenced me–I just know that it happened. I was humbled and taken-aback by how much I seemed to connect with these characters; they weren’t real, they were just someone’s imagination on a page.

    Why did they have such power over me? How did they influence me so much? Was I nuts? Did I have my head too high in the clouds like people said I did?

    Maybe. Always maybe.

    Once I learned how to read, that was it. Reading was all I wanted to do. And then I decided I wanted to do what those writers had unwittingly done for me–to save a life. When you’re young, awkward and not at the top of the popularity chain, characters like Deenie, Nancy Drew and Marcy Lewis helped keep my soul strong.

    It shouldn’t have been a surprise to anyone that I wanted to do the same thing for others some day…if I could. If I had the strength, the perseverance, the dedication. But nobody seemed to understand my need to write while other kids my age were outdoors living it up. I didn’t even understand it myself. My flag of self-esteem was never high, and wanting to write made me feel more conspicuous and embarrassed.

    I tried to ignore the odd glances older people gave me, the embarrassment I felt about it when my teachers caught a whiff of my desire (was I doomed to be a freak forever?), and the utter incomprehension of my friends and family. Maybe it was teen-aged angst in action, not that it matters. It was almost enough that the feelings strengthened me at the same they ostracized me.

    What I do know is that at twelve years-old, when I was in the sixth grade and wrote my first story for a teacher’s review (The Lucky Charm, which totally sucked jumbo-size eggs), I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to be God on paper. To make a positive difference in someone’s world. To give back what I had been given.

    Because words can save a life.

  • Wiley Wednesday: By Hand vs. The Keyboard

    By Hand vs. The Keyboard
    by A. Catherine Noon

    There’s an old debate in writers’ circles between those who compose with a keyboard and those who compose with a pen. I suppose in today’s internet era it might seem like a moot point, but I figured I’d speak up for those of us Luddites out here. (Yes, well, Neo-Neo-Luddites. But I digress.) Despite the ascendancy of blogging and texting and all the mobile foufera of today’s computer-literate society (say, for example, the Gentle Reader who is reading this on our blog), the pen has not given up its place in the sun just yet.

    Who composes with a pen? Some writers admit to writing entire manuscripts by hand in their first draft. Some even use that most ancient implement, the typewriter, to create their masterpieces – the sound of the clickety-clack soothing to their inner artist, the keys like candy to their Muse. Some insist they must only use the computer and a word processing program, “because of automatic spell-check, you see.”

    Interesting. All worthy ideas, all from writers not just sharing private thoughts with an intimate audience, but august personages for whose work the public will pay good money. So who’s right? Is the pen mightier than the sword? Or is ink and paper destined to go the way of the horse and cart, used only by zealots and those who haven’t yet heard technology’s siren-call?

    My honest answer as a writer is that I use both. Perhaps how I use them will be enlightening to other writers so I share them here, in the hopes that others might be inspired, as I have been, to try different methods of coaxing words onto paper, the ultimate bent of any writer (at least until eBooks changes the whole industry and books go the way of the horse and cart, used only by… or did I say that already?).

    The Pen

    I use my pen and paper for many tasks. First and foremost are my Morning Pages. Written about by Julia Cameron in her books, most notably The Artist’s Way, Morning Pages are three pages of longhand writing, written in the morning (perhaps, some wag might wonder, giving rise to the name “Morning” Pages?). Since the pen and size of the paper (standard letter size) are specified, it might be of note to share what form my pages take. I’ve used all sorts of things – cheap, spiral-bound notebooks from the dollar store; bound journals blank and unlined (which I liked because I could add sketches); regular college-ruled notebooks like what I used in, well, college. What I have learned surprised me: first, use something UNfancy. Fancy journals lead us to want to write fancy thoughts. Morning pages aren’t meant to be fancy, they’re meant to be three pages of longhand writing, written in the morning. Nope, don’t see fancy in those instructions, do you? Second, I learned that I liked UNlined books. Sure, I’ll use lined notebooks because they’re cheap and easy to find. But when I was forced for economy to use something I found in the giveaway box, the resultant blank journal without lines lead me to realize I like to sketch. I also realized that the very size and direction of my writing changed based on my mood. Some days, my letters were neat and orderly. Others, they were large and untidy. One day, I wrote in a spiral from the outside corner to the center. It gave me freedom to explore.

    You might want to try it yourself, one day.

    Another thing I use my handwritten journal for is, well, what I call “Journal Work.” By this, I mean answering questions and tasks for the Artist’s Way, Walking In This World, (both books by Julia Cameron), and other like-minded material. I’ll use it to talk to myself on the train to and from work, to catch hold of ideas. I’ll write down poems and fragments of thoughts, knitting design ideas and dinner plans.

    A third thing I use it for is to tell myself stories. Many first drafts of stories I’ve written are to be found in my journals. I’ve written a continuous journal since 1995 and before that I have many journals, split up by time, back to the age of nine. I have story fragments and poetry all through them. I find it enjoyable to sit on a train, or at lunch, and tell myself stories – almost as enjoyable as reading a book, in fact. I just do it for the fun of it, because I enjoy the worlds I see in my mind’s eye, the theater of the imagination. Some of these stories I’ve later published, some just stay in my journal waiting. Waiting for what? Not sure yet. But at least they’re written.

    You might want to try it yourself, one day.

    The Keyboard

    I use my keyboard for many tasks. In fact, I recently purchased a used AlphaSmart, a portable keyboard. It doesn’t have automatic spell-check the way my MS Word does, but it allows me to type on the train. I discovered two things by this method – one, I write a helluva lot in the hour I’m forced to sit there; and two, carpal tunnel syndrome isn’t just for secretaries. So if you get one, make sure you do your hand exercises, or you’ll be hurtin’.

    I use my computer for a number of tasks. First, a word as to platform – I am a dual-platform user, and have been since I learned to use the computer. I own both a Mac and a PC and have equal facility on both. I make my living by the computer, and in my industry the computer of choice is and always has been the PC. I like the Mac better, which is why I own one. But honestly, there’s not a whole lot of difference in the interface in terms of the word processing program of MS Word. I am an MS Office power user, so I don’t fiddle with the other programs available, but if you use or want to check out the other ones available to you, go for it. The creation is in the writer, not the software, no matter what ads in writing magazines say.

    I love to write stories on the computer. Once I have a specific story in mind, I find it easy to use the computer to compose. I like being able to have headings for my chapters that will build an automatic table of contents. I like being able to use that table of contents to bounce around my story by hyperlink. Since I’m a novelist, my stories are long. Being able to move through them quickly is very helpful.

    Synthesis

    I suppose that is a good distinction, for me anyway – I use the computer for specific ideas (i.e. left brain approach). I use my journal for noodling, fiddling with story ideas, and directionless dreaming (i.e. right brain approach). While I can force a computer to think like me, it’s still much easier to do it by hand. I can just write a stream of consciousness in a continuous line, making catch-notes in the margin if necessary (like, “Work in Progress,” or “To-Do List”) for things I need to be sure to come back to. Writing by hand lets me just get what’s in my head out where I can look at it. Composing by computer lets me go from point A to point B, J, and Z fairly quickly and efficiently. If I want to skip to Chapter Ten and write that, then come back to Chapters Five through Eight, I can do that easily. I can keep track of what chapters I’ve done by updating the table of contents. That sort of functions like an outline as I’m writing, so I know where I’ve been and where I’m trying to go.

    You might want to try it yourself, one day. Or come up with a method that works for you. I suppose that’s the most important moral of the story – not what I do, but what you as a writer might do.

    And that, boys and girls, is a project worth working on.

  • Balance-Point


    Nature abhors a vacuum: horror vacui. ~Aristotle

    This applies to much more than thermodynamics. We use this dictum in all facets of life, and I often hear one form of it that’s more relevant to the venture of writing . . . You can’t work in a vacuum.

    Some writers swear up and down that the opposite is true. And, no doubts, writing can be a lonely pursuit. Hours spent on end with people who only exist in your mind does not, unfortunately, count as being an active and social human being. Like with any form of art, writing has its eccentrics and savants that prove the exception to any rule.

    For the rest of us, though, I think this is true. You can’t work in a vacuum. At least, not for great lengths of time. And here’s my reason why – writing is life. I know, cheesy, huh? But, what I mean is – writing is made up of the activities of life – of our experiences, senses, feelings. As writers, we need to be familiar with these things in order to turn them into moving prose. If you really spent your life cloistered away from all that life has to offer – what would you have to write about?

    That’s not to say that having a ‘creative space’ free from the clutter of everyday life isn’t crucial. And by ‘creative space’ I mean a frame of mind, rather than an actual physical space, though certain physical spaces my contribute to your ‘writing space’ or detract from it. For me, it is necessary to physically disconnect the internet from my computer if I intend to get a large amount of writing done. Otherwise, there are too many distractions, but I digress . . .

    In thinking about this week’s post, the topic of balance weighed heavily on my mind. Perhaps because I have felt unbalanced lately, and that always nags at me. Whether it’s an astological given, or just a personality quirk, I’m on a constant quest for balance. A little deeper analysis revealed that I had enough thoughts on it to (maybe) constitute a blog post. I’ll let you be the judge of whether any of this rambling is worthwhile.

    Okay. We can’t work in a vacuum. Even if writing were truly our only pursuit, it still dictates that we go out there and experience life. Oh! The pain, the glory, the sunsets, yes, even the garbage is good fodder for a writer. We make the mundane interesting, the forbidden acceptable, the unimaginable possible. So, I ask myself – where is the balance point?

    More importantly – for those of us who choose to write in addition to maintaining anything resembling a ‘real’ life outside of writing – is balance even possible? Or is tearing your hair our inevitable?

    Jobs, marriages, kids, school, friends, family, illness, travel, celebration, housework, and the myriad of other activities that constitute life abound. So – how do we squeeze some time out of that to write? And once we do wring some writing time out of our schedule – how do we divvy it up?

    We can’t work in a vacuum. To me, a fair percentage of my growth as a writer is reliant on feedback. Feedback, which requires social interaction, which requires time. And what about research? That’s cutting into our ‘writing’ time too, and we haven’t even gotten to the part about trying to actually sell our work. We’re just talking about writing it. Add learning your craft, and reading to that list, and I don’t know about you – but I’m out of time slots. So – when do we actually WRITE? We have to find a balance . . .

    If you’re a writer, balance is probably instinctual. We already balance so many things: description with dialogue, plot with action, backstory with world-building, character arcs and relationship development, even our word ratios – “Do I have too many adjectives? Too many words starting with ‘s’?”

    So, why, if you’re like me, does it not come quite so easy when it’s time to balance writing with life? Why does it feel, sometimes, as though everything in the world is there to keep you from doing the one thing you want to do – sealing yourself in a vacuum and writing?

    Battle of the binge.
    I learned early on in my writing addiction that I have a tendency to binge write. I’d lock myself away, hardly speaking to even my husband, for an entire weekend, then finally come up for air twenty thousand words later. (DISCLAIMER: In case you’re thinking to yourself – ‘hey, I wouldn’t be complaining, that’s twenty thousand words’ – please note that I DO NOT recommend this method.) Needless to say, this sort of habit was difficult to maintain – unpredictable, and frustrating – not only to me, but to the people around me. I was out of balance. Happy. High on writing, but unbalanced. A conundrum.

    Take two: Gwenny reforms.
    I had to take a chunk of time to get my life back on track – to make sure I was meeting deadlines at work, showing up for classes, seeing my family more than once a month, and not letting my husband go to bed alone more than once or twice a week, remembering to eat, and yes – even sleeping *gasp*. After that, I slowly introduced the writing drug back into my system. It was painful at times, and frustrating. I wanted more. I wanted to crawl away into my writing hole and play in my imaginary worlds for hours, days, weeks.

    Instead, I forced myself to do it in small, and sometimes sparse, chunks. The most infuriating thing – rather than waiting for inspiration to strike me and then getting carried away by the muse, I had to write when I had time to write – muse or no, and stop when it was time to stop. Sometimes that meant staring at a blank screen for an hour and then moving on with life with nothing to show for that hour other than festering self-doubt. But, this was life, and I had to find a way to adjust. I slowly re-trained myself to write when I had time, not when I felt inspired – and even if what I wrote was crap, it gave me something to start with. I could/would/did fix it later.

    What have I learned? (Really, Gwen, why are you making us listen to this?)
    Well, I do have a few pieces of (what I deem) wisdom to impart. Though, I’m learning more about myself, and writing as it pertains to me, every day. Hopefully, you are too.

    1. You can’t work in a vacuum. Finding other people who feel the same way you do will not only make you a better writer (feedback is crucial) but you’ll also feel like less of a freak when you discover there are so many others like us out there. Balance is important here, and a fair exchange so that everyone feels like they’re getting something worthwhile. I am here to tell you, this is entirely do-able. Writers are writers are writers. It doesn’t matter which genre, which length, which market – we all have some common ground. Don’t be a closet writer – there’s no need to do it alone. Many a time someone I’ve met online has said just the right thing to give me an idea, to inspire me, to bring me down out of the rafters, or to re-instill my faith in myself. That sort of interaction can make all the difference.

    2. Make a ‘creative space’ for yourself. This is a mental state. Find a way to shut out the nagging lists, demanding bosses, inner-critic, door-to-door salesmen, and yes, even the TV. Build a mechanism into your psyche that allows you to disconnect and seclude yourself when you must, to let your creative energy flow safely and freely. Build it in such a way that it does not rely on the outside environment. That doesn’t mean you can’t institute a physical que. For me – it’s all about the iPod. If I have my headphones on, I’m in the zone, and don’t get in my way. Maybe for you it’s a special treat you only enjoy when writing, or a favorite sweater. As long as it’s something you can take with you anywhere, I think it will work. The idea is that, even without the food, the dog still drools, i.e. the que helps you create the ‘creative space’, just remember – it’s inside you.

    3. Find a balance point. If you wait for everything to be ‘in order’ before you write, you’ll never get there. On the other hand, if you could give a flying f*&%, as long as you’re writing – you’ve probably swung too far the other way. Find the balance point. You’ve found something you love, something you’re passionate about. That’s amazing. You’re lucky. But don’t let the rest of life pass you by. No venture, no matter how passionate you are about it is worth missing out on life. Also – writing is multi-faceted. Make sure you don’t sell yourself short and only spend writing time on the part that you like the best. Balance your pursuit of the craft so that you’re well-versed and continually growing. Your work will show this. Like with anything in life, you will ‘feel’ when you’re in balance. You know your limits. As long as you are honest with yourself in setting them up, they will serve you.

    Final note:
    Let me just say again, I’m in constant pursuit of it. I wish I had some formula to give away, but none such exists. We are all individuals, and what works for one of us doesn’t work for all. This is working for me, right now and I am trying to fine-tune it. I’m seeking a balance between my non-vacuum, and my creative space time, and I break my ‘creative space’ time up between studying craft, reading in the genre, writing exercises, writing what I have to (projects that need revisions, finishing, etc.) and writing what I want to (the story where the muse is on speed).

    I wanted to get everyone thinking about their own internal balance-point because my next post will be on goals, and knowing your limits, and your balance -point is critical when setting goals for yourself.

    ~Gwen