Tag: Mental Health Monday

  • Mental Health Monday – Resilience Is A State of Mind

    by JaeSage

    Good Monday morning to you. Today I want to share a glimpse into how you can find resilience in a world that is not always so easy to take. Although this is not meant to be mental health advice, you can see it as a window into what you can do to learn more about resilience in the face of difficulties.

    Two questions I am often asked by clients are:

    1. How do you define resilience?
    2. Can you learn to become more resilient?

    Here is a definition in my own words: Resilience is a choice of thought and behavior that allows you to get back on track after something negative happens.  It is about acknowledging your emotions as valid and not denying your feelings. Resilience is about using your inborn and learned strengths to help you recover more quickly.

    And here is the definition from Oxford Languages:

    noun

    1. 1.

    the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.

    “the often remarkable resilience of so many British institutions”

    1. 2.

    the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity.

    “nylon is excellent in wearability and resilience”

    You can learn how to be more resilient:

    In human terms, resilience is not always about getting back to exactly how you were before that “difficulty” or negative experience.

    It isn’t always about “toughness” either. It is about taking in the feelings of the moment and learning new positive thought patterns. It is about relating your difficulties to allowing yourself to feel stronger and be better than before even in the tiniest way.

    The most resilient among us are able to allow themselves to feel what they are feeling in the moment. They are able to realize that it is normal to respond emotionally to an external situation that is out of our control.

    A couple of questions to ask yourself:

    1. How long does it take me to feel better after something difficult or bad happens?
    2. What would I rather be feeling?
    3. What has worked before to help me feel better and stronger?

    Do you try to ignore the feelings or allow them to control your behaviors or do you allow them to flow through you and acknowledge their presence? Feeling sadness or fear are normal reactions to difficulties and they will go away if you practice resilience.

    Here are a few suggestions:

    1. We all have strengths of some sort. What are the strengths you have relied on in the past to help you get through a tough time?
    2. Who or what is in your life to help support you when you are in need of support?
    3. Who can you help who has been in a similar situation (sometimes helping others makes us feel stronger)?
    4. What practices can I repeat consistently to help me get centered and grounded?

    How about a simple grounding mindfulness exercise that you can do to help yourself feel calmer?

    For everyday stress: say you had a terrible morning. You couldn’t find your keys for what felt like forever, the kids and dog are acting up and your boss has texted you three times already this morning. You feel pressured and notably anxious and anger is growing from within. Your chest feels tight and your stomach muscles are clenching. You have to keep going through the day so the pressure continues to grow.  You begin to tell yourself that your life is a mess and you hate your job. You finally lock the house and get the kids in the car and safely strapped in.

    What can you do? Before you start the car you can stop and center yourself. Even if the kids are hollering, take a brief moment to feel where in your body the pressure is. Feel your feet on the floor and your bum on the car seat. Feel your hands on the wheel. Look at the tree in your yard and the sky above and really look at it. Look at the color and the way the breeze moves the branches or the clouds. You can take a few breaths and listen to the air coming in and out of your nose or mouth and feel your lungs expanding or contracting.  Sit and breathe a bit. Then notice that you are feeling a bit more calm, more centered. That is the beginning of the growth of resilience within you. Now you can move through your day with a little bit of calm.

    Sometimes the difficulties are more acute like a serious illness or accident. When that happens, seek professional mental health help as soon as possible to get you feeling better sooner.

    When you need more help, reach out to a professional like a licensed therapist/counselor, or board certified life coach (BCC) to learn more about how to build resilience.

    Best 2 books I have read on building a more resilient you (there are many more):  Peace is Every Breath by (the late) Thich Nhat Hahn and  Rising strong: The Reckoning. The Rumble. The Revolution. By Brene¢ Brown.

    A reminder before I go: you can use apps like Calm and YouTube videos and others resources that can help you with guided mindfulness meditation.

    Best regards on your mental health Monday today.

    Yours in Mindfulness,

    JaeSage is the nom de plume of a National Certified Counselor with over 10 years’ experience in learning and teaching mindful methods.

     

  • Mental Health Monday: Stress Reduction, Self-Care and You

    By Guest Contributor, JaeSage

    Good Monday to you! Today is a great day to start your self-care New Year’s reset.  The new year is morphing into a new month tomorrow (Tuesday). February is Heart Month so do your heart a favor and love yourself up a little bit.  You deserve it. Today’s post is about finding your calm with stress-reducing self-care.

    Here are three stress reducing self-care ideas:

    1. How do you define self-care for stress reduction? Here are some ideas clients have shared with me that they have used that work for them:
      1. Mindfulness meditation
      2. Using a guided meditation app (like Calm) or YouTube video
      3. Swimming
      4. Running or walking a distance until tired out
      5. Cooking my favorite dishes or baking
      6. Sipping herbal tea in a sunny winter window
      7. Watching my children play when they don’t know I’m looking
      8. Streaming cartoons all Saturday morning in my pajamas
      9. Singing loudly while vacuuming my house
      10. The classic— warm bubble bath with aromatherapy essential oils
      11. Hugging—spouse, lover, bestie, tree, pets (I’ve heard all of these)
      12. Making something like a craft or a piece of furniture or some clothes
      13. You name it. What works best for you?
    2. Experiment with methods to be in the moment. Catch yourself in a busy, focused activity and stop and look around when it is safe to do so.  Take your time—what do you see, what can you hear, what does it smell like where you are? Then reach out and touch something or at least feel your feet on the floor or your behind in your seat. Okay, then feel your feels for a few minutes before you get back to the busy. You have just used your five senses to give your brain, body and spirit a moment of respite.  How does it feel?
    3. If something reduces your stress (again, anything that is healthy and works for you) and feels like self-care, then paraphrasing Bill O’Hanlon: If it works well for you then do it again.

    Best regards on your mental health Monday today.

    Yours in Mindfulness,

    JaeSage

    JaeSage is the nom de plume of a National Certified Counselor with over 10 years’ experience in learning and teaching mindful methods.

    Referenced in this post: Book by Bill O’Hanlon- Do One Thing Different

  • Mental Health Monday: Mindfulness, Compassion and MLK day

    by Guest Contributor, JaeSage

    Good Monday to you! Today is MLK Day and when we think of mindfulness and Dr. King, how can we be in the here and now to observe the example of empathy, kindness and active compassion for others and ourselves that he lived and taught?

    Here are three possibilities:

    • Look around you. Is someone sitting next to you on the bus during your morning commute or in that bleary-eyed Zoom meeting in your respective virtual offices or the person you woke up next to. Really take a look at that person’s face, look.  Look at their eyes, their nose, the way their mouth moves when they talk. Truly see that person, familiar or a complete stranger. Drink in their presence and enjoy being one with humanity sharing this big blue planet floating precariously through space.
    • When you have a break today, instead of charging through a meal or pouring a cup of beverage that you will end up not drinking due to your laser-like focus on the everyday job of survival, STOP, take a bite or a sip and experience the fullness of the experience. Taste, smell, feel, listen, and look at it. Then think about how that food or beverage arrived in your hand. Who planted, nurtured, harvested, processed, and delivered it so you could be there to slow down and notice it? Can you summon up a feeling of gratitude for those who brought this sustenance to you?
    • Make an attempt to show your gratitude to a fellow human this week. Then show yourself some kindness as well. Part of mindfulness is sharing an act of compassion in the moment with all of your five senses.

    Best regards on your mental health Monday today.

    Yours in Mindfulness,

    JaeSage is the nom de plume of a National Certified Counselor with over 10 years’ experience in learning and teaching mindful methods.