Tag: Goals

  • Wiley Wednesday: Sustainable Change

    I’m reminded recently of how change becomes sustainable, and how to set oneself up for failure. I thought I’d talk about that a little here, in the context of writing, but it applies to any changes one wishes to make in one’s daily round.

    A young colleague of mine recently decided to chuck it all, move home to another state and live with his mother, and “get in shape.” Then , once he’s down below the weight requirements, he plans to apply to Officer Candidate School of whatever branch “will accept him.”

    He had a lot to say about patriotism, and hypocrisy of those who sit on the sidelines during war and refuse to participate. On the other hand, he’s a brilliant young mathematician with a shot at contributing to the field of economics or finance.

    But all of that aside, all the question ns of whether t his is the “right” choice at the “right” time during a two-front war that shows every sign of being a generational problem, let’s focus on the most critical part of his statements as they relate to us as writers: he’s going to move home, “get disciplined,” lose the weight, and apply to OCS.

    As any of us who have attempted any long-term marathon change, such as weight loss or writing a large project, or even writing small projects consistently, we know that it’s little increments that add up to a larger whole. It’s rarely the grandiose gestures that make success, it’s the small accumulation of baby steps toward a goal that create the foundation for sustainable change. After all, one cannot cram for weight loss the way one crams for a test.

    Which makes a side point – education in the institutional model does not prepare us for reality, because we believe that cramming and writing papers the night before can lead us to success long term. Really, that’s a way for short-term success, but how much to we really remember of the test we crammed? How deeply did we mine our acre of diamond to come up with a paper we wrote in one night?

    Sustainable change must be perpetual, hence the word sustainable.

    From Webster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary, page 1189, “sustain: 1. To give support or relief to; 2. To supply with sustenance; nourish; 3. Keep up, prolong; 4. To support the weight of; prop, also: to carry or withstand (a weight or pressure)” etc.

    None of those definitions describes something immediate or transitory. None is ephemeral; one is rather minded of bricks or a scaffold, something with permanency or providing support in order to build that which is permanent. Long-term.

    We need to set up a sort of perpetual motion machine that feeds itself over time – but this is not something that can be done overnight. It is said that a habit is formed over 21 days, which is hardly an overnight cram session, wouldn’t you say? That’s three whole weeks of sustained effort. Steven Covey talks about escape velocity, and I think that applies in this case – but after escape velocity is produced, what then? After we’re in orbit of our new plan, what then? How have you changed, and how have you set up scaffolding to support your new self?

  • Are you going to Conference?

    Fifteen months ago, I would not have understood that question. Now, I find myself being asked on a fairly regular basis. Even more notable, I find myself questioning my standard, shy, negative response.

    What is holding me back? I’ve encountered many fabulously inspiring individuals in the cyber-world. How can meeting folks in the flesh seem so much scarier than posting the stories in my head for all the world to see?

    One very immediate shortcoming is my failure to educate myself on what writers’ events would most benefit me. While I’ll spend hours researching for the sake of authenticity in my fiction, my palms sweat and my eyes blur when I try to explore the business end of writing.

    Several wonderful people are easing me through these doubts and fears. Thanks goes out specifically to Dilo Keith for sharing the information she’s gathering on publishers. Dilo’s tips on my stories are invaluable, too. I’m certainly blessed to be part of this gang on the Writer’s Retreat Blog. A Catherine Noon invited me originally and every person on here goes out of his or her way to uplift and encourage. To find support from Mel Keegan on The GLBT Bookshelf has been like a dream come true.

    Today, another chance, friendly contact makes me think that it’s time I attend the RWA National Conference. Upon winning the exciting e-book, “Stellar Heat”, I received the PDF file from the author, herself! Learning that I live on the way of her expected route to Nashville, Scarlett Jameson actually offered me a ride! What a kind gesture, and one that just might inspire me to take that leap.

    I’ll keep you posted. Just this afternoon, I faxed my application to join the Romance Writers of America. I figure that’s another baby step.

    As for the RWA Conference, any reader likely knows that the unfortunate populace of Tennessee and other Southern US states is battling natural disaster. Our best wishes go out to them that flood waters recede soon and damage can be managed. While A Catherine Noon astutely pointed out that the RWA board is not in an enviable position, we have every faith they’ll have a plan in place by the end of July.

    So, are you going to Conference?

  • The Perfect Storm

    It’s official. I’m sitting at the center of a perfect meeting between great fortune and very encouraging benefactors. As a result, an original short story I wrote has been put up for sale. As in money.

    Me. Darla. My story.

    In the words of the wonderful mentor who made this happen, for the very first time my material has been given “professional book packaging services”. He said he was tickled pink the first time and I couldn’t say it better. The e-book is beautiful! A part of me could die happy right this minute.

    However, I know that this success is an illusion. I’m in print, but not for personal aggrandizement. The month-long charity sale in which I’m participating means I may not see a dime. And that’s fine, except this also means that I have no signed contract. There is no publisher. And at the end of March the ownership of the story reverts back to me.

    Wisely, kind souls who’ve gone this route already have advised me to shop for the right fit. I understand the logic. What does this mean? It means I need to get off my behind and do some research.

    Sure, my tremulous heart would love for somebody in the business to see my contribution and fall in love with me at first read. Yet I don’t dare hold my breath and be a wallflower. I can’t expect some awed publicist to find my work on that website and show up in my inbox with an e-card and bouquet of digital roses. This is the time to be practical.

    For the first step, I’ve been emailing people with whom I have shared even the briefest interactions. You never know who might know who in this industry. The genre in which I’ve written might attract folks who tend to have extensively networked communities.

    You never know. At the very least, I’m making another positive step to get out of my reclusive shell.

    So far, I’ve spread the news across four continents. We’ll see what happens. You never know. Right?

    The important part now is to quiet the self-doubting inner critic and keep my momentum going. I could easily let this fizzle out and turn to ashes. The characters in my head have other ideas. They want their stories to be heard.

    Wish us luck! Uh, I mean me.

  • Building A Goal Pyramid

    Last time I posted a long essay for Wiley Wednesday talking about motivation and dedication, following one on balance-point. I’ll finish this series with today’s post on GOALS.

    If you missed the first two, you can find them here:

    1. Balance-Point

    2. Motivation + Reinforcement = Dedication

    In quick review:

    – It’s crucial to find your internal/external balance-point in any creative pursuit. You have to know your limits in order to set realistic goals.

    – Your desires motivate your actions. The act of reinforcing your motivations is dedication. When you combine dedication and goal-setting, you get positive action – progress towards your ultimate desires.

    DISCLAIMER: As per usual, this is just my opinion, and one of an infinite number of ways to attack the task of goal-setting. If it works for you, that makes me gleeful. If it doesn’t, don’t blame me!

    Once you’ve gotten a handle on what motivates you, and you have your general compass-point (your desires/dreams) you are ready to set some goals. One method for doing this, is to think of your goal-plan like a pyramid.

    Remember: Your dreams are the pinnacle of your ‘pyramid-o-happiness’, which you
    are hopefully always building. Your goals are the bricks that, when stacked with care, will get you to the top. Sometimes they’re gritty and heavy, sometimes they’re fun and ornate. Positive action is the act of stacking your bricks. (And results from combining dedication with your goals.)

    How many writers does it take to build a pyramid?

    One.

    Everything you need to get to that pinnacle is inside of you. And believing this is the key to ultimately achieving those dreams of yours. You can’t stand around waiting for someone else to pick up your bricks and start stacking. It’s up to you. You can recruit help from time to time,
    borrow tools, rely on someone else’s strong back, consult other pyramid engineers – but if you aren’t dedicated to it, your pyramid will not get built.

    Let’s assume that we all have dreams – that spot up in the clouds somewhere that we want to be. Maybe it’s being a NYT best-selling author, or a record-holding sword swallower, or just
    managing to complete one novel on top of raising two stellar kids. Whatever it is, dream big. I’m a firm believer that aspirations are healthy, as long as you realize that until you take positive action towards them, that’s all they are.

    Dream exercise:

    Find a nice quite spot and set aside a good chunk of pressure-free time. Take out a blank piece of paper. At the top, write, “I want to be . . .” and then list off everything you can finish that sentence with. Now, these are dreams, so you’re allowed to be whimsical, of course. But, try to think of it in terms of WHO you want to be. Many of the things listed might be who you are, or strive to be, already.

    Example:
    I want to be . . . Able to run three miles in fifteen minutes. Someone who speaks three languages fluently. A published author. The first person my friends think to come to when they’re sad. A teacher. A good role model for my nieces and nephews.

    You get the idea. This is a boundless exercises, aimed at getting you thinking about that pinnacle of your pyramid. What do you want to accomplish most? Who do you want to be? That is your pinnacle.

    Now we’re back to the first part of our formula: Goals.

    Goals are sorta like dreams – they are things that you want to accomplish, often as a means to obtaining said dreams. The difference is that goals are concrete. In our pyramid analogy, they are the concrete bricks we use to build the pyramid up towards our dreams. To work on goals, you need to pick one ‘aspiration’ or several that are tied together, and set that as a pinnacle to build towards.

    Let’s take my ‘I want to be a published author’ aspiration and expand on that. We’ll ask questions and add details so that it can start to take solid form – so that it can morph from dream to goal. What type of author? What genre? What length? Published where, by who and for what audience?

    Once I’ve determined that I want to be published in novel length fiction, in the paranormal romance genre, by a NY print house (maybe I have a top five list), then I’m almost there. Only one thing missing to make this goal solid by asking one question – when? You have to have something more definitive than ‘someday’. Someday is up in the clouds. We want to come down to earth. But we will answer this question after a little more self-exploration.

    Your goals are very personal. Just as your list of ‘I want to be’s’ is personal. Some goals can remain more abstract and you can still reach them, some can be very detailed. The most important thing in setting your goals is that you do set constraints on them – give them a solid form. Don’t leave them wispy and unformed – these are still dreams. It’s OKAY to have those – have LOTS of them, but don’t mix them up with goals. Your goal needs to have a who/what/where and a when. The why is personal, and the how is . . . well, the how comes later. Keep reading.

    So, have you built your top triangular brick – the pinnacle of this particular pyramid? Great! Now I’ve got news for you: goals come in multiples. Rather, they sort of spawn each other like rabbits. You have one main goal. Now we need all the other bricks that go underneath it – a wide foundation, growing smaller towards the top. You have two choices in planning your pyramid: top-down, or ground-up. It’s a matter of personal taste, so do what feels the most natural to you.

    Pyramid planning exercise:

    We have our main goal, and now we need to carve out the rest of our bricks. Using the back of the sheet of paper you wrote your dreams on (or a fresh one – or, heck, you can make this out of construction paper and glitter glue if you like – have fun), start like this:

    Write your three-sided who/what/where goal at the top of the page. If you’re using top-down, think of two things you need that would be your last two steps towards that goal.

    Example of the top-down:
    I want to be published in novel length paranormal romance by publisher XYZ. I need:
    1 polished manuscript worthy of print, and an agent to land me a deal.

    (The ground-up method would start with basics and work up from there. You might start with: I need a computer/word processor, I need books on craft XYZ, and genre books, I need a basic
    writing class, etc.)

    Now, take each of those branches and think of (at least) two things you need in order to get them:

    To get an agent, I need:
    1. A list of agents and
    2. A polished query

    To get a print-worthy manuscript, I need:
    1. A really great idea
    2. Time to write said idea
    3. Feedback to help polish the manuscript.

    Note: If you have problems with this step, look at your top goal. It might be too general.

    And so on. Do you see how your goals branch out and get wider at the bottom? Sort of like a pyramid? Well, use your imagination.

    You can be as detailed or as vague as you want in this process, depending on how detail oriented you are. Some people will have 100 tiny bricks (steps) and some just need the 10 major ones to keep them on track. You might also find that some of your ‘bricks’ end up being the same, repeating, or inter-linking. That’s to be expected, if you’ve made your top brick concrete enough. Also, remember to make this subjective. They are always multiple ways of approaching a problem, and this is catered to you – what you need and want, what your strengths and weaknesses are.

    The main purpose here is to start seeing the pyramid take form. Maybe some of the bricks you have handled already – that’s terrific. You still need to know what they are and where they go. Maybe there are big holes in your plan and you have no idea what step goes there? Write the question you need answered in its place and below it, put finding a resource to have that question answered. The other thing you will hopefully see is that when setting goals, you can make them tiny manageable pieces, or more general. (Hopefully both.) Just make them concrete.

    Pyramids don’t get built overnight.

    Once you have your pyramid outlined to a level of detail that is comfortable to you, you’re more than halfway there. Now we can ask ‘When?’

    Guess what – the ‘How?’ has taken care of itself! Look at your pyramid again – the how is what you’ve just done. Pat yourself on the back.

    The next step is where my previous post on Balance Point fits in. Be honest about your limits and knowing what you can accomplish. I’m not going to tell you: ‘if you really want to be a NYT best-selling author, you will take out a second mortgage on your house, quit your job and write the Great American Novel in the next year.’ Partially because I don’t believe that, and partially because I think that is a very unbalanced way of doing things. Whether your goal is to publish, or simply to complete a work, it shouldn’t come at the cost of other things and people important to you. KNOW YOUR LIMITS.

    Now, keeping your limits in mind, write underneath each one of your ‘bricks’ how long you
    estimate it will take you to accomplish each of them. Be realistic, and keep your balance point in mind. If you think you can read every how-to book on writing fiction in a year – you’re probably wrong. These estimates can be in rates: two books a month; but they must also
    have a TOTAL time required: 12 books at two books a month = 6 months.

    And remember, these are your best estimates and don’t have to be 100%. Many will be influenced by things out of your control. I guarantee they will ALL change. That’s okay.

    Got that done? All except for the top one right? Here’s a trick – items on the same level of
    your pyramid can generally be done concurrently. Add up the longest time frame of each level. This is the minimum amount of time you need to prepare to reach that pinnacle. It might take longer than you initially anticipate, but as long as you keep building, you’ll get there.

    I’ll see you at the top.

  • Motivation + Reinforcement = Dedication


    A while back, I posted an entry on Balance Point and promised I would follow up with a post on goals. I thought it would work good for a Wiley Wednesday, so here it is. I apologize in advance for its length. I’ve split it up, but it keeps getting longer. Apparently, I have a lot to say on this . . . lol.

    Just a quick review on Balance Point – the main idea of that post was: know your limits. This is crucial to goal-setting, as you’ll see.

    Usual disclaimer: I have no sorts of letters after my name to assure you this is right. I’m just a goal-oriented person, sharing a little about what works for me in a way I hope you can custom-tailor to help you.

    When I started thinking about this more in-depth, it morphed and became larger than I expected. So, it will actually be broken up into two parts and I’ll post the second the next time I’m up for Wiley Wednesday.

    I made up a neat little formula to help me keep things straight, and it goes like this:

    Goals x Dedication = Positive Action,

    I further define:

    Dedication = (Motivation + Reinforcement)

    For those of you who don’t like math, here it is restated:

    Goals multiplied by dedication (motivation plus reinforcement) leads to positive action.

    So, what does that mean: positive action? It’s relative; it means taking steps in the direction of your ultimate dream/aspiration. That leaves us lots of comfortable wiggle room.

    A quick note on the difference between dreams and goals. Hopefully, as a writer, dreaming comes pretty naturally to you. Dreams are the stuff that fiction is made of. And if you’re a dreamer, aspiration surely follows. We all aspire to be better writers, better friends, better people. How about this one: “I want to be a NYT best-selling author.”

    Sound familiar? But this is a dream, an aspiration, not a goal. Dreams are insubstantial – usually so far off in the distance that they’re misted over, the actual path to reaching them is obscured. They are literally up in the clouds.

    That doesn’t mean you can’t make them a reality. Your dreams are the pinnacle of your ‘pyramid-o-happiness’, which you are hopefully always building. Your goals are the bricks that, when stacked with care, will get you to the top. Sometimes they’re gritty and heavy, sometimes they’re fun and ornate. Positive action is the act of stacking your bricks.

    We’ll talk about goals more next time and I’ll show you a ‘goal pyramid’ method that I like to use, complete with exercises. But this time, I want to talk about the other part of the formula: dedication (motivation + reinforcement).

    As I said in my Balance Point post, writing can be a lonely pursuit. Sometimes it feels like everything in the world is working against you becoming the writer you want to be. At times like these, only your own dedication keeps you writing. It might be continually put to the test, but if your dedication is strong enough, nothing can hold you back from stacking those bricks.

    Let’s face it – writing can make us feel vulnerable, elated or extremely frustrated; fill us with hope, or with doubt. At any of those times, it is only dedication to the craft, to the muse, or to our own dreams that makes us pick up that How To book, open that document, or write those pages despite the uncertainty we may be feeling.

    To me, dedication is made out of (at least) two different components: motivation and reinforcement.

    Motivation can be internal or external. It can come from us, or from other sources. It can also be positive (desire), or negative (fear). I will focus on the positive kind (just cuz) but I do want to make it clear that negative in this case doesn’t necessarily mean bad. A lot of people might disagree with me, but if fear is your strongest motivator, if you’re just wired that way, don’t feel like you shouldn’t be. You don’t have to fight to re-wire yourself, just learn to use it as a tool.

    Think about this:
    What initially motivated you to start writing? What kept you motivated after you got your first taste? Was it internal or external, positive or negative? Which of these really works for you? Everyone is different. When you have to motivate yourself to do something – how do you do it? Through rewarding yourself? Or is it the threat of bad consequences that gets your butt in gear?

    The reason it’s important to ask yourself these questions is to figure out how your internal motivator works, and if it’s not working, how to change it so that it does. Even the most powerful engine still needs a spark to ignite it. No matter what you’re packing under the hood in terms of capability, talent, or determination, you need motivation to get things running.

    Try this:
    Draw a square with a cross in the middle, making four stacked squares. Along the top, write positive and negative. Along one side, write internal and external. In each box, try to think of an example (real or hypothetical) of a type of motivation you’ve used or encountered for each. Now, be honest with yourself – which one works for you?

    Once you’ve identified your best type of motivation, make a list of different ways you could use it. For example, if you’re internal/positive, positive self-talk and rewards might work. If you’re external/negative, then maybe you need to design consequences that would keep you motivated, or find someone to hold you accountable. It’s all very personal, and there is no right answer.

    So, now that we’re motivated, we’ve started our engine and we’re rolling. But dedication is more than just that initial burst. Dedication has to keep us going even when we encounter a three-foot deep pothole. Or a cliff.

    What we need is reinforcement. And I will venture to say that whether negative or positive motivators work for you, we all need positive reinforcement, so let’s focus on that.

    Just like motivation, reinforcement can be internal or external, or hopefully both.

    First things first: Eliminate outside influences that drain your energy or have the opposite effect – quashing your motivation and dwindling your dedication down to nothing.

    These can be abstract things (fear, doubt, exhaustion) or very specific (a person who brings you down, or something on your to-do list that won’t leave you alone). I could write a whole post on how to recognize and purge these negative influences. I’m only touching on the idea here, but still want to underscore its importance.

    Surrounding yourself with people, things and circumstances that reinforce your dedication will yield the best results. The internal component of that positive reinforcement cannot be over-emphasized.

    If motivation is the spark that starts our engine, positive affirmation is the fuel that keeps it running.

    Our sub-conscious is a tricky little bugger. Sometimes it can set us up for failure before we’ve ever begun. It can stall our engine in multiple ways and for multiple reasons. Using positive affirmation, you’re telling your sub-conscious that you are in charge, you know what you want, and you are not going to get in your own way.

    We all have dreams and aspirations (which we will translate into concrete goal-bricks next time) that we want accomplish. We have the motivation to go after them, and we’ve eliminated the obvious road blocks. Now we just need steady fuel – affirmation. For me, it’s probably the largest thing that keeps me on track, and I’ve developed a few different habits and tools to keep the fuel pumping.

    To an extent, this sort of thing is very personal, but here are several ideas:

    1. Find a positive environment, surrounded by people who feed into your dedication.
    2. Keep a file, written or computer, that holds all of your favorite positive feedback from others. When you’re feeling down, re-read them.
    3. Learn to hone in on your own doubts and fears. Don’t ignore them. Listen to them, and then reason them out. Face them, and then disengage them. Once they’re not a threat any more, you can move on to the positive.
    4. Find someone inspirational to follow – a blog to read, a person to study, someone you know – anything. Emulate what you like about how they operate, or make a note of the traits you admire and those you have in common – they are probably very similar.
    5. Write a review of your WIP, or a story you haven’t yet written. Type it up, print it out, and paste it somewhere visible.
    6. Surround yourself with inspirational quotes, pictures, etc.
    7. Interview yourself – either alone in your car, in the tub, or on paper. Tell the story of how you became a writer, what writing is to you, how you got that amazing idea and what your plans are for the future. (Yes, I really do this. Unorthodox, but hey – my dedication hasn’t faltered yet!)

    One more quick thing – going back to the subconscious. There is power in every thought you have, and every word you speak. When you think about your dream, or when you mention it. Don’t say “If I ever get published . . .” In the words of Yoda – “Do, or do not. There is no try.” There is no IF. It’s a WHEN. “When I sell my first novel . . .” You have to believe that to be true. And you have to get your subconscious on board.

    Never underestimate the power of constant positive affirmation – written, spoken and thought. Maybe you want to repeat the same set of affirmations before you go to bed each night, or first thing when you wake up, or several times a day. Say them in your head like a mantra, like a prayer. Each time you do, you are reinforcing your own dedication. Once you have your goals in order, you’ll be on the road to positive action.

    Courtesy of author Robyn Amos, here are some great affirmations for writers:

    I am a talented writer.

    Creativity flows through me easily and effortlessly.

    I am my own expert, and I am not affected by the negative attitudes and opinions of others.

    I easily balance the needs of my family with my own need to write.

    I have a positive expectancy of big success, and I take temporary setbacks easily.

    I am a creative person and develop my plots with confidence and imagination.

    Images and words come easily when I sit down to write.

    I write daily with excitement, enthusiasm, and confidence.

    I don’t wait for inspiration. Work inspires inspiration.

    If I succeed, I keep working. If I fail, I keep working. Whether I feel interested or bored, energized or tired, encouraged or discouraged, I keep working.

    Everyday, in every way, I’m getting better and better.

    I have the craftsmanship and creativity to successfully finish this book.

    Remember, GOALS + DEDICATION = POSITIVE ACTION.

    We’ve got half of the formula covered! Next time I’m up for Wiley Wednesday, I’ll talk about turning those faraway dreams into solid, stackable goals using a ‘pyramid’ method. Hope you take something worthwhile away from this, and I’ll be happy to answer questions, via email, or in the comments.

    ~Gwen