“It’s bad luck to see the bride in her wedding dress, Jack!” Annie insisted from her side of the door to her apartment.
“Then go take it off, I won’t mind,” he said in his most intimate voice. He heard the lock turn and Annie’s running footsteps as she retreated to the bedroom before he could catch a glimpse of her in her gown.
Entering slowly to give his flustered fiancé a chance to change, he wandered past the kitchen and glanced inside. Their wedding cake stood on her large butcher-block table, pristine and white. Cake decorating tools lay scattered across the table, including a full tube of frosting. Annie worked in a bakery and had just finished making their wedding cake herself. She had done a damn fine job if he was any judge of cakes. Picking up the tube of frosting, Jack squeezed a small amount onto his finger and licked it off absently.
An interesting thought came to mind; this frosting would be good for decorating more than just cake. Carrying the tube of frosting with him, he headed toward Annie’s bedroom and pushed the door open just in time to see her slam the closet shut.
“There, now you can come in,” she huffed.
Jack noted that in her haste to conceal the gown, Annie hadn’t yet removed her bra and a half petticoat made from crinoline designed to make the skirt full. Without the gown covering it, Jack thought his blushing bride looked like a meringue – fluffy, sweet, and quite edible. He crossed the room and reached behind her to expertly unclasp the bra with his free hand.
“Show me how this thing works, Annie,” he said, holding out the tube of frosting but focusing his attention on her bare chest.
“How do I make those little peaks of frosting, like you did all over the cake,” he repeated. “Like this?” he began, and squeezed out a small dollop of creamy goodness onto Annie’s breast, then another and another. After he had formed a neat row he leaned forward and licked it off suggestively, his eyes meeting hers with intensity.
“Jack, you’ll make yourself sick if you eat all of that frosting, and you’re getting it all over my petticoat!” she giggled.
“Let me worry about my sweet tooth,” Jack reassured her. “And I’ll take the petticoat to the dry cleaner’s, don’t sweat it.” He proceeded to spread more frosting across Annie’s soft skin and anticipated his tasty treat.
Later that day, Jack handed the garment bag across the counter to the clerk at the dry cleaning store. “There are a set of silk sheets here that I’ll pick up in a week or so, but the petticoat I’ll need for tomorrow morning. We’re getting married at noon, is that going to be a problem?”
Opening the bag, the clerk answered, “No problem, Sir, we’ll have that ready for you.” Inspecting the material, the woman asked, “May I ask what kind of stain this is?”
“Cake frosting,” Jack replied. “My fiancé decorated our wedding cake herself.”
“But how did she get frosting all over the petticoat and sheets?”
“A gentleman never kisses and tells.”