I have been considering what to write for this blog and up until today, things were looking grim. I haven’t written much in the last week. Today is the first day that I have really been able to put words together other than for the purpose of just making it through the day or making myself understood.

My head has been disconnected in some way from the part of me that writes, admittedly only briefly, but ouch. I know that sounds a bit crazy and it has only been for a few days. But it is a horrible feeling – never knowing if and when you will write something spontaneous and worthwhile again. I have had things roaming aimlessly in my head and things that have insisted I write them, but really; nothing I could call a satisfying write of any kind, until today!

I did write something as my Walking in this World exercise this week and I am glad I did take the time to do this exercise. Often I miss doing them due to lack of organizing my time carefully. But this week I needed my Morning Pages like my next breath.

The exercise took the form of a ‘Letter to Myself’. I hope you find the result of this exercise interesting. If you don’t and you are dead bored, I know you will forgive me, because you love me.

2/05/08
To Me,

When it comes right down to it what are you afraid of?
That you have no talent? That someone won’t like you, will laugh at you? It doesn’t matter what other people think – it is what you think of yourself, accept yourself, love yourself for who you are, not who you think others will want to see. How did you get to be 55 with the many experiences in your life and still be so unsure? Seven children, seven births, how can you underestimate yourself so?

You have a voice, use it, with humility and love and watch yourself grow and put those fears into perspective and eventually lay them to rest. Trust in GOD to lead your life. Trust in yourself to hear his still, small voice.

Love from me.

I wanted to tidy this letter up before I posted it, correct the grammar; check the spelling and the punctuation. But I decided against that, because I wanted to show this note exactly as I wrote it to me. I wanted to show what came out of me, to me, in my Morning Pages. Unfiltered and non- expectant of any other eyes on it besides mine, at all.

I don’t know if any one will gain anything from this post, but I am. I am putting me out there for anyone who cares to look. In the raw, unaltered state this letter is in, I am vulnerable. And you know what, that is actually okay!

Eaton 🙂

3 thoughts on “

  1. Unhinged says:

    Aw, {{{ Eaton. }}}

    You’re not alone. I bet there’s not one of us alive who doesn’t feel what you’re feeling at some point during their lives. I know I see-saw between liking what I write, doubting what I write, and hating what I write.

    Having doubts are normal. Be sure and tell your inner self that. And then tell your inner self to move forward despite the doubts. Take big breaths, tell yourself it’s going to be okay (because you’re not alone, because you do have support), and keep on keeping on.

    And hug yourself. For real. 🙂

  2. Thanks for your post, Eaton! Your courage to put yourself out there is an inspiration to me. You have faced so much and continue to be brave, creative and loving every day. I admire that.

    I know what you mean about drought. It’s in these times that I remember the Footprints poem/prayer, and know that GOD is holding you up. It is in such times that, as you say, Morning Pages are a lifeline.

    I am so glad that I know you and am privileged to walk alongside you on this path of writing and self-discovery. I look forward to many new, bright horizons together!

    Love,

    Catherine

  3. Gwen says:

    Dear you,

    Your courage is an inspiration, and you set a fine example of how we each must face the only true adversary in our reach for our dreams – our selves.

    Thank you Eaton. Love & Blessings, Gwen

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