This post is late, late, late! I forgot it was my turn to blog today, fortunately my friend and fellow writer Kathleen Oxley thought to remind me, thanks Kat. In the process of getting this post written and published I have had some interesting experiences. The first being that as I read over the finished article this morning, I noticed Blogger had posted their own notification at the top of the window, that they were having an ‘outage’. Said outage was apparently going to happen about the same time as I was working on my post. Without thought I pressed publish, not having saved it all as a draft. Yes, you guessed it, Blogger ate my post, every darn word.
Now that post had taken a bit of effort on my part as my girls were getting ready for school at the same time as I was writing it. It seems that I am the only person who can find a pair of socks in this place, or know where the mp3 player got put last night, or the only one free to let the rabbit out. Strange how when I want to write, no one is able to fend for themselves. Bless them, they won’t be home for hours yet.
Just as I was getting back into this, my two older girls, came for a brief visit. The post went on hold again, with the save button clicked this time. It is impossible to compete with two pregnant women, who need their mom to discuss all manner of things maternal. Frustration took on a whole new meaning to me this morning.
The day has brightened and I am back to writing this post, not without substantial help though. My friend, fellow writer and Artist’s Way mentor, A.Catherine Noon, Noony, helped me get some serious perspective on my day. I am calmer and now able to think rationally about the events that have lead me to this point in time.
My two eldest girls, pregnant, delightful and chatterboxes when together, have been at their disruptive best. They forget that I am more than their mom, that I am a woman and have things that are important to me; that I am committed to. I explained to them earlier this morning that I had plans for the day and would not be available. The issue for me here, is my need for my own space to be the whole person I am. After having had no personal space or boundaries for a long lot of years, the reforming of boundaries is proving to be difficult and a little painful.
I feel like I am in a battle for my inner freedom and perhaps that is a little melodramatic for some, but I am in the midst of this and it feels very much like a battle to me. I want my offspring to know they are loved, wanted, enjoyed, cared for and part of all the things that go into a loving family. But I am serious about my writing and I need some personal space to develop and grow in this new found passion.
I can see that leaving the nest is not an easy or comfortable thing for these girls of mine, but for them as well as myself it is necessary. I am going to quote Noony here, “Grab them by the leg and as you fling them from the nest, wish them a happy flight!”. Sounds harsh – yeah, it does. Will it work? Who knows, I am hopeful! You don’t have to be a mom, being a woman is sufficient to have relevant views on these matters and I would love to hear from you; read what you think about these or related issues.
Regards
Eaton.